I pretend not to notice the bone rattling cough in her chest while she pretends not to notice that I’m pretending.
Our conversation is light, surface-level, until the waitress arrives and Mom orders cottage cheese and a bowl of fruit over her usual omelette. I force another smile while our coffees are topped off and our server walks away.
“Not hungry?” I ask, hoping I sound casual enough.
She shrugs, but her gaze lingers. A long sigh. “I know what you see, Hannah.”
I trade her stare for a sip of coffee. “And what do I see?”
“Nothing you need to worry yourself with yet.”
Yet.
Only it’s not a matter ofyet. I’ve been in the worried trenches for the better part of eight years. And as I sit across from her now, I’m worried about her alone at home, driving herself around, taking care of the house.
“Mom, I’m not sure you should be alone right now.”
That signature, infuriating Lydia James smirk tugs one side of her face. “I’m not.”
I run my forefinger and thumb over my eyelids. “Let me guess, Richard?”
She pumps her brows over her mug and I groan. Sure, she’s not by herself and that makes me feel a little better, but I don’t need the mental image of them—nope. Not going there.
I attempt a more logical, mature line of thought by reminding myself he’s a doctor. She’s in good hands—nope. Not thinking about Dr. Adelson’s hands either.
“Oh my god, Hannah. Your face.” Mom’s laugh tumbles into another cough that makes my own ribs rattle. Apparently, my expression shows too much concern. “I don’t need that face either.”
An eye roll from me and a wink from her later, she sets her mug down, mood sobering.
“All jokes aside, it’s not like that with Richard.” I narrow my gaze, cock my head.Liar. “Okay, it’s a little like that. But he’s also my friend and he’s looking out for me.”
Damn the flicker of jealousy I can’t force down.Ishould be the one looking out for her. “And what about me, Mom?”
She smiles softly. A long pause stretches across the table before she answers, “You’re my ride or die, baby girl. When the time comes, you’ll be the one I want most by my side. But for now, I want you to enjoy the time you have left with your soldier man and just know that I’m okay. I’m happy and I’m cared for.”
Happy.
With so little time left, I think I’d move heaven and earth to bring her as much happiness as possible. That’s when it hits me. The numbered days she has to stock up on her own happiness are the same numbered days she has left to witness mine. I messed it up royally before when I almost married Gerald. I settled for the wrong reasons and it blew up in my face. But I have real happiness this time. The bone-deep, flip-my-world-upside-down kind. The kind I don’t have to fake. It doesn’t matter how temporary it is or that I’ll be a weeping mess when Rowan leaves. It’s happiness, pure and unfiltered.
“I’m happy, too,” I confess.
Mom beams. “I can tell.”
“Rowan’s coming to the gala with me.”
She flashes another smirk, the punchline incoming. “That’s wonderful, Haddy. We can double date.”
We giggle simultaneously, bursting into a fit of laughter that carries us through the end of brunch.
As if the god of awkward encounters had a direct line to our earlier conversation, Rowan and Richard approach at the same time when we step outside. My soldier from one side, Mom’s situationship from the other.
“Rowan,” Mom croons.
He wraps her in a hug. “Bestie.”
I look to Richard. “Dr. Adelson.”Cringe.
“Hannah,” he answers with a kind smile. “Nice to see you again. And call me Richard, please.”