I glance down at my hands, gripping the sheets. “There’s so much that’s circling in my mind right now, uncertainty about my future…”
“You’re getting overwhelmed.” He uncurls my hands from the sheets and takes them in his. “Let’s start with how you feel.”
“I know how I feel about you.” I force myself to look at him. “I’ve always loved you, but?—”
His eyes light up, and I hold up a hand to stop him from saying something.
“We’re living in this wedding-week bubble where everything feels perfect and magical, and we can pretend the real world doesn’t exist outside these walls. But Taylor’s words were a harshreminder to me that when this week is over, we go back to real life. And that’s where the real test begins.”
His eyes narrow. “I thought this weekwasthe test.”
“It is,” I say with a sigh. “But there’s another world we haven’t dealt with yet—a world where I can’t afford the lease and my father is sick. Where my brother still doesn’t like you or the fact you’re dating his sister. Where people don’t think I’m good enough for your family.” I drop my gaze. “And then there’s your hockey world. I don’t know how to be the girl who dates the coach when I’m barely keeping my own life together.”
He tips my chin up. “Do you hear yourself right now? You’re listing all the problems we can’t control. Getting sick last night was a wake-up call, a reminder that I can’t keep living like this.”
I frown. “Like what?”
“Pretending that my life would be fine without you.” He shifts closer to me, pulling me between his legs and wrapping one arm around my waist. “That kiss in the hot tub wasn’t me being reckless; it was me finally being honest about my feelings for you. You’re the only one who makes me lose control like that.”
I feel the blush across my cheeks, the memory of that wild kiss in the hot tub coming back in vivid color.
“I love that version of you,” I admit under my breath.
“Then be with that version of me.” He brushes the back of his fingers across my cheekbone. “Please?”
I close my eyes. I want it so badly it hurts. But for some reason, I’m afraid I’ll be the one to mess this up—that all my “bad luck” will rub off on him, just like Taylor said.
“Scarlett,” he says. “When I couldn’t breathe last night, do you know what I was worried about?”
I shake my head.
“That if something happened to me, I’d never get a chance to be honest with you.” He brushes the back of his hand along my jaw slowly. “And tell you that I’d choose you over everything else, without hesitation.”
“What are you saying?”
He doesn’t take his eyes off of me. “I want to be with you. Not just this week or when everything feels magical and the setting is perfect.” His hand traces a line down the curve of my neck. “I want to be the man you come home to on an ordinary Tuesday. The one who makes you feel safe. Who chooses you first, every single day.”
I believe every word, and yet there’s still that voice in my head—the one that sounds like his cousin and every kid who ever made me feel small in the school cafeteria, whispering that I don’t belong.
And I hate that I still hear that voice. But I can’t let the fear of not belonging stop me from choosing where I want to be and who I want to be with.
“What about your uncle?” I ask.
He frowns. “What about him?”
I’m not ready to tell him what Taylor said, or that I’m still worried about him recognizing me from the hospital. “He’s been polite this week. But polite isn’t the same as acceptance. I just can’t get a read on him.”
Brendan is quiet for longer than normal. “Rafael is complicated. But to his credit, he kept our family together.”
I study Brendan’s conflicted expression. Basically, he’s the reason Brendan’s family survived. The one who held everything up when their entire world fell down.
Which makes everything considerably more complex. Family is the foundation of our lives, and if one part breaks, it can mess up everything.
Which means if he decides I’m not good enough for his nephew and confirms what Taylor already said, it won’t just affect me.
“So his opinion matters to you.”
He sighs. “Yes, it does. More than I’d like it to. It’s hard to ignore the impact he’s had on my entire family. Especially when the man signing my paycheck is the same man who taught me how to drive.”