Sadie’s front door was unlocked.
Inside, the overnight bag had been discarded on Sadie’s oversized purple velvet couch. Thanks to the open floor plan, Anne could see right into the kitchen where Sadie was, her back to Anne. She was—Anne squinted, unable to believe her own eyes—she wascleaning. Rubbing down the cabinets next to the double oven, a cleaning rag lifted as high as height permitted. Scrubbing hard and fast, like the dark-green paint held dirt Anne couldn’t see but that Sadie seemed to believe was there.
Anne cleared her throat.
Sadie whirled around so quickly, her ponytail smacked her in the face, and true surprise widenedher eyes. Her cleaning hand was suspended in mid air.
“What the hell is goingonwith you?”
“The cabinets need to be clean first if I’m going to wax them,” Sadie declared, as though that was a perfectly reasonable statement to make. “Last year, Esther at temple gave everyone on the Belonging Committee jojoba oil for Hanukkah, and it’s just been sitting in my cabinet formonths.”
“The cabinets,” Anne said, trying to stay calm, “do not need to be cleaned or waxed right now.”
“No, I just need to—”
“Honey, please put down the rag and talk to me.”
She didn’t notice the term of endearment until Sadie dropped the rag, her hand and mouth opening at the same time. It had slipped out of Anne so easily and without thought. As if she’d been using pet names for her entire life.
“Honey,” Sadie repeated, with a quaver, and picked up the rag from the floor, depositing it on the counter. “I like hearing you call me that. You said it to me last night, too, you know.”
“I did?”
“You were a little occupied with something else at the time, so you might not remember, but I do.”
“Oh.” Anne felt her face flush, guessing at what she might have been preoccupied with. She took a few steps into the kitchen. “I see. Well, if you like it when I call you that, and if—if I like calling you that, then I could keep calling you that. If you wanted.”
The silence stretched long enough for Anne’s stomach to wrench with nausea.
“Anne.” All of Sadie’s manic energy had vanished. Her shoulders were slumped. “I told you I’d be over later. Let me be alone for a bit, all right? A whole lot’s happened in a very short span of time.”
The fear Anne had been forcing down burned hot in her throat like acid. “Sadie, you’re scaring the hell out of me.”
“That isn’t—I’m not trying to scare you, I just—”
“Then tell me what’s going on!”
A small, dry laugh. “You have to admit, it’s just a teensy bit ironic thatyou’rethe one demandingIshare.”
She’d never heard that cynical note in Sadie’s voice before. “What is that supposed to mean?”
“Only that it’s been the other way around for four years. I’m the shovel, but you, sunshine—you’re the earthandthe diamond. Hard to get to you, and harder to get through.”
Anne backed up into the counter, hands behind her. She wouldn’t catastrophize, not until she got more information. She’d breathe normally, the kind of breathing you did when you hadn’t spent the morning confidently imagining a future that now seemed like it could be pulled away.
Wife, she’d thought just a handful of hours ago.Hello. I’m Sadie’s wife.
“You’re having second thoughts about me,” she croaked.
“Absolutely nothing having to do with you is second,” Sadie said quietly. “I’m still havingfirstthoughts,Anne. It’s been twenty-four hours since you proposed to me.” She touched the side of her neck lightly, slowly, her fingertips brushing over a small purple spot Anne had first noticed in the diner with hot delight. A hickey. Anne’s handiwork, the souvenir she’d given Sadie. “Twenty-four hours since our first kiss. Areyoudone thinking about this?”
Sadie’s hands and mouth and eyes—theyesin their heat—they hadn’t been an answer to Anne’s proposal after all.
She’d been wrong. Cataclysmically, horribly wrong.
“Everything you thought you knew about yourself just changed overnight, and you think you’re ready, right this second, to throw yourself into a permanent romantic relationship with me?”
Anne’s stomach wrenched again. “Yes. I know what I want. I’m completely certain.”