“Shapes?”
“Curves. Silhouettes, I suppose. It relaxes me. Lets me concentrate on how—how my hand feels. But once—” She wouldn’t close her eyes; she’d be brave. “One time, I wondered how you did it. Just for a second.”
“Oh my God,” Sadie whispered. “Did you—”
“Yes. Quickly.”
No answer from Sadie, just rasping breaths.
“Almost everything I know I like in bed, I’ve learned by teaching myself. Alone. How to make it build gradually. How much pressure I need to get just close enough—and then stop for a minute, because I don’t want to let it end yet. Stopping, though—that’s the hard part. Because when I’m at that point, I need so badly to—” Without planning it, Anne squeezed Sadie’s hands, hard. “It doesn’t always work, though. I’m not always able to stop. I couldn’t that time I thought about you.”
“Oh, I wish—I wish I could’ve seen that,” Sadie stammered, “although I suppose I was there, in a way, from what you’re saying; I mean, if you consider thoughts as a kind of presence, which I—Anne?”
“What?”
“If I don’t kiss you, I think I might faint.”
“We can—we can do that.” Anne faltered, feeling a bit like she might faint herself. “Don’t pass out, please, I can—” She brought her hands up to Sadie’s shoulders, then slid them over the curve of her neck, searching past the thick, soft tangles of her hair for the back of her head. “What about our sex talk? We never finished discussing what we—”
“Let me set the pace, if that’s all right,” Sadie said in a rush. “We can figure it out as we go. We do as much or as little as we both want, andpleasedon’t worry about making noise; the sounds you make drive me out of my mind.” She paused. “What do you need?”
“Just—” Anne pressed the pads of her fingers into the hidden place where Sadie’s hairline met her neck, always covered by her wigs. Not tonight. Sadie was bare for her. “Just want me. That’s all I care about. That’s it. Want me.”
“More than you could ever know,” Sadie told her.
They kissed for the second time that day. Soft, at first, a slow, amazed discovery that became more insistent and more urgentas the seconds went by. It was easy, so easy, to go on instinct, to let her tongue slip inside Sadie’s mouth and stroke what it found, to pull Sadie closer, to press harder.
Home, Anne thought senselessly, surging forward.Home.
When they finally pulled apart, the distance between them was in name only, their foreheads still pressed together.
Anne’s lips tingled. Before today, any kissing longer than a quick peck had always seemed so strange. She’d had the odd sense she was an anthropologist studying another culture. Why was putting your mouth on another mouth a normal—even desired—practice? Why did people seem to love the swirl of someone else’s tongue, the clack of teeth, the intrusion?
She knew now.
“Oh,” Sadie whispered.
Anne threaded her fingers through Sadie’s soft hair because shecould. Anne could touch Sadie. Take her time. Anne could kiss Sadie’s lips, and her cheeks—first the left one, then the right one—and then her forehead, lingering there for as long as she wanted, simply because she wanted.
Next was the cute little bump of Sadie’s nose, which deserved attention, given how nicely it sat on her face.
When Anne softly kissed the tip, Sadie made a little surprised noise.
“No one’s ever kissed my nose before,” she offered, sounding amazed.
Another kiss, clumsy at first because Anne couldn’t stop smiling, delight blending with her desire. Happy. Oh, she felt so happy. This—this—was what she could have, this beautiful trembling thing, this starvation finally getting fed.
Withdrawing just enough to speak, Sadie asked, “Could I touch you? Please?”
She placed her hands on the sides of Anne’s waist.
Anne, speechless, nodded.
Slowly, carefully, Sadie explored her new territory, palms sliding gently over Anne’s stomach, then her rib cage, slipping to her back, up and down her spine. Each place came to life under Sadie’s hands, blooming with new warmth that stayed, then spread, becoming a rush of heat.
After a couple of minutes, there was only one part of Anne below her neck and above her hips that hadn’t yet been touched. Anticipation made her breasts feel tender, deprived. She arched her back, pushing her chest toward Sadie, a plea without words.
Sadie gasped, shock in her voice. Reached up and tucked Anne’s hair behind one ear. Said softly, “If you could see what you look like—”