oh my precious baby, it’ll be okay!! We love you.
WhyNotBoth?:
love you BoBo, he’ll come to his senses. Jackie will too.
Jackpot:
you got this, Beau. Brian, you’re dead to me.
Ilogged out of the chat room, palms sweating and heart racing.
I’d heard the front door shut less than a minute ago, and now that Lea was home, my brain was on the fritz.
This entire day—no, the past two days—I hadn’t been able to think about anything but Lea.For the first time in my life, I couldn’t concentrate on work and I’d made several mistakes. Minor ones, but mistakes nonetheless. I was grateful that today was Saturday and I didn’t have to work, but yesterday had been a mess.
After I’d tried to confess my love to Lea—and after he’d swiftly put a stop to it—things between us had been a little tense. I tried to act like nothing happened. I really tried. But he could tell how crushed I was because he’d been softer and kinder than usual. His typical playfulness made fewer appearances, and there was a somber air around him that hadn’t been there before. Last night, when we’d all sat on the couch to watch a movie of Judy’s choosing since it was her final night here, I kept looking over at him. Every time I glanced at him, he was staring into space with a frown.
I didn’t like that he was upset—thatIwas the one who’d upset him. I wished I’d never said anything at all. I should’ve just kept my feelings to myself, just been happy with what he was able to give me.
Because of all the emotional turmoil, I’d completely forgotten about the tutoring gig I’d agreed to do. But he hadn’t. When he mentioned it this morning, he’d seemed excited and still wanted to go with me, so…that had to mean something, right?
Ugh. This was all too much. I was going crazy with nothing but my anxious thoughts to keep me company.
“Hey,” a soft voice said behind me. I turned in my chair, and there was Lea, leaning against the door with his arms crossed. He was wearing a Hawaiian shirt with a flamingo print and short blue shorts that showed off his long, lean legs.
He was so heart-achingly beautiful.
It didn’t escape me that he wasn’t greeting me the same way he had a couple days ago. The distance between us was very literal right now, and I had no idea what to do about it.
“Hey,” I said back.
His eyes flitted across my face, then traveled down the entire length of my body, as if he was checking to make sure I was exactly how he’d left me. When his gaze rose to mine again, I squeezed the arms of the chair.
Soft rays of sunlight streaked across his face and upper body, painting him in an ethereal glow that made him look even more like an angel. He was so lovely that it hurt my heart, but the pain was worth it.
“How was your day?” he asked.
I was about to give him some generic answer, to sweep all my sad emotions under the rug and play it off like none of this was a big deal, but Lea pushed off the door and walked toward me. My heart sped up as he approached, an exhilarating glimmer of hope sweeping through me.
“I—” That was all I could get out before he climbed on top of me, straddling me and running his fingers through my hair as he stared down at me with an intense expression.
I didn’t think I’d ever get enough of his need for physical touch.
He tilted my face up to his, and then his lips were on mine. They were hungry and sweet all at once; it was a tender devouring that had me clutching him against my shaking body as I tried to offer the same to him.
He pulled away with a final swipe of his tongue against my bottom lip and whispered, “I missed you.”
Oh my god. Oh, my heart couldn’t take this. It was trying to beat its way out of my chest as Lea’s eyes searched mine, trapping me in a sea of cobalt. I was so overcome with joy and relief and sorrow that every single word I wanted to say got stuck in my throat.
“Did you miss me, Beau?”
“Yes,” I said emphatically. I always missed him when he wasn’t right beside me. Or on top of me.
Whenever he was out of my sight, I counted down the milliseconds until I got to see him again.
His lips curled up in that smile I loved, but it was tinged with a sadness that gutted me. He rubbed his nose against mine, then his cheek against my cheek, and then he buried his face in my neck and sighed. I tipped my head against his and stroked up and down his back with a firm hand, feeling the dip and curve of his body and putting it to memory.
“Did you make muffins?” he mumbled into my skin.