I shook my head. “Not really. I mean, I love my family, don’t get me wrong, but they’re…a lot. You’ve met Judy. Now just imagine three more of her. They mean well, but it’s too much for me. And after…” I shut my mouth and averted my eyes.
But Beau was too perceptive and knew exactly what I’d been about to say. Damn Judy for mentioning Lyle to him. He began threading his fingers through my hair, starting at my temple and running slowly to the back of my head, his blunt nails scraping softly on my scalp. It felt fucking incredible.
“After Lyle?” he asked softly.
I swallowed past the sudden lump in my throat. “Yeah,” I said, closing my eyes as he continued stroking my head with those amazing hands. “After that, they smothered me way too much. I know they were trying to help, but honestly, I just wanted to be left alone.”
It was quiet for a few minutes, and then he whispered, “You know I’d never hurt you, right?”
My inhale got caught in my throat, making me choke on nothing as my heart pounded in my chest. His utter sincerity was unlike anything I’d ever gotten from another person—outside of my friends, that is. I wanted to tie him up and keep him forever, hear him say things like that to me every single day. He was one-of-a-kind, the most genuine person I’d ever met, and it was doing things to me. Making me feel a lot of things I hadn’t felt in a long time, if ever.
I looked up at him, at his gentle eyes and soft expression.But there was a determination there, too, and fuck, it was hot. “Yeah,” I said, offering him a smile. “I think I know that.”
What I didn’t say was that I’d probably end up hurtinghim, no matter how much I didn’t want to.
He nodded. His eyes shifted to my ear, where he was tracing the shell with a gentle finger. “Did you always want to own a bar?”
He wanted to know more about me, and why did I want to tell him everything?
“Oh…ha, I mean, no, not always,” I told him, shrugging. “Monroe and I both got business degrees and when we came here the previous owner was sellingBlue’s Brews. I think we both fell in love with the idea of running a bar, especially because the alternative of wearing a suit and sitting at a desk all day was not very appealing to either of us.”
Beau’s hand paused, then resumed its movement. What did I say?
Oh, shit. Beau sat at a desk all day.
“Not that there’s anything wrong with wanting to do that, it’s just not for me,” I quickly added, glancing up at Beau. He was staring up at the ceiling now, and I wondered if I’d hurt his feelings.
Fuckingagain.
“No, you’d be suffocated with a job like that,” he said, stopping my heart. I stared up at him as he looked at the ceiling with an expression of quiet contemplation. That he knew me well enough to make an observation like that had a peaceful warmth spreading through me.
“I like my job,” he said, eyes trailing slowly back to mine. “I’m not very good at dealing with people. I think it would get pretty—pretty overwhelming for me if I had to go into an office, though. I’m glad I get to work in my own space.”
Wasn’t he lonely, though? Always by himself, day in and day out. Before he’d moved here, had he had any friends? Did hespend time with people besides his asshole of a mom? God I hoped so. Otherwise…
“What?” Beau asked.
“Oh—nothing,” I lied, grappling with the need to know everything about him and staying within reasonable boundaries so that he didn’t get the wrong idea.
But still, the thought of Beau being all alone in this world for so long made me sadder than I wanted to be.
Made me want to do something about it.
With a deep sigh, I sat up, and his hand fell from my head—which I hated instantly. I wanted to lay here all day, being petted and stroked and rubbed by this sweet, gorgeous man. But we both had to work, and my feelings were becoming messy and uncomfortable.
“We should clean up. Get ready for the day,” I said, and I didn’t miss the flash of disappointment in his eyes before he licked his lips and nodded.
I would make it up to him tonight.
“Good boy.You’re doing great, Beau. Yeah, just like that. I’m gonna let go now, okay? But I’ll be right next to you,” I said, sliding my fingers across his chest. There was a bit of panic in his eyes, but he nodded and tried to stay calm as he floated on his back.
I got off work early so I could take Beau down to the ocean and start teaching him how to swim. He was nervous, but it was already a plus that he was comfortable in the water. Loved it, even, in spite of what had happened that first day.
And thank god Judy was hanging out with Riley tonight, although I did feel a little sorry for him—but they weirdly got along. It was karaoke night at the bar, and he was granted asmany free appetizers as he wanted as a thank you, so hopefully that covered her craziness.
“Won’t sharks think I’m a—a seal? Or something?” he asked, a small quaver in his voice.
Ugh. My heart. I just wanted to snatch him into my arms and make him feel safe again, but that would defeat the whole purpose of doing this.