“I did,” she said, “but I wanted to make someone else jealous. I thought if he saw me with another man, he would realise how he feels about me.”
Who? Hansel?
Boaz stared at her.
Had Boaz been right all along? Was Lyla in love with his brother?
“Your brother is such a thick fool. I tried everything to make him notice me, but nothing worked. I don’t know what to do anymore.”
Boaz looked at her, sympathy flickering in his chest. She had done everything Hansel asked of her. Even pretended to give someone like him a chance so Hansel might notice her.
Was Hansel blind?
“Why don’t you just tell him how you feel?” Boaz asked.
“No,” she said shyly. “I couldn’t do that.”
“But if you don’t, you’ll never know how he feels about you”
She bit her bottom lip, as if she was considering it. “You think so?”
“It’s worth a try,” Boaz said. “You’ll never know what might happen. I spent a long time trying to make people notice things about me too. But if I’d said it sooner, I might have understood parts of myself I didn’t even realise were there. I can’t believe I didn’t know I was gay.”
Lyla bumped his shoulder. “You found out at the right time. Sometimes it takes the right person to bring out the hidden parts of us.”
A throat cleared behind them. Lyla looked over her shoulder.
“Oh,” she said. “I should get going.” She leaned closer to Boaz. “Have fun.” She giggled as she got to her feet. “Hi, Alexander,” she added before walking away.
Alexander crossed over and took her seat.
“You two looked cozy,” he said, brushing his cheek against Boaz’s arm like a cat. “Sitting close like lovebirds.”
“Oh, don’t even start. You’re not getting jealous over Lyla,” Boaz said.
“You were in love with her, and now I find you here with her,” Alexander said, his eyes flickering red.
Boaz swallowed, his body reacting despite himself. He leaned in and kissed Alexander.
Alexander gripped the back of his head and deepened the kiss. Boaz moaned softly, heat rushing through him before he forced himself to pull back.
“How is your mom?” he asked.
“She’s alright. She took the news well.
“You don’t sound happy about it,” Boaz said. “Would you rather she didn’t take it well?”
“Maybe. I think I would feel better if they yelled at me. Got angry… something,” Alexander said. “They’re accepting this so easily, and I feel so guilty.”
“You would have felt the same way even if they blamed you,” Boaz said softly. “The guilt will still be there, Alexander. You made it out, and he didn’t. You’re going to have to live with that.” Boaz leaned into him. “Everyone lost someone in the war. But we have to keep living, even if it hurts. We carry them with us. Forgiving yourself is the only thing that eases it, not how they react to you. It has nothing to do with your parents. You’re the one who hasn’t dealt with your brother’s death.” Boaz fell silent, allowing Alexander to express how felt. When he remained silent, Boaz threaded his fingers with him.
After a while, he turned to Alexander. “Do you want to go for a swim?”
Alexander nodded.
Chapter 25
Boaz