“Fuck,” he groaned, hopping away from him. “You can have whatever you want.”
Calla followed him to the chilling compartment. Adew took out the meat, and then turned around to look for Calla’s bowl. The okie chose that moment to lift and place his paws on Adew’s chest, almost knocking him off his feet.
“Shit Calla, patience,” Adew said, dropping the slab of meat into his mouth. Calla dropped down and ripped into the flesh with enthusiasm.
“Enjoy,” Adew said, backing away to wash his hands. Done, he left him to his dinner and walked to his room, more like hobbled there because his entire body ached. The one thing he loved about the house was that it didn’t have stairs and it wasn’t insanely big. He wouldn’t take more than one minute to move from one room to another. The rooms were a few feet apart and the hallway was so tiny he could brace with his hands on both sides if he lost his balance. It was perfect for his recovery.
Adew opened the door and walked into the room. He glanced at the large bed, his body crying out for him to lie down, but he knew that if he lay down before he went through the odious job of getting the WAB off, he would never get up.
He moved to the side of the room where his medical stuff and WAB stand were set up. He slowly pulled off his clothes, groaning as his muscles pulled and contracted and made his limbs feel heavy and unresponsive. It took him about thirty minutes to get his clothes off and he still had to unstrap himself from the WAB.
Fuck. Maybe he should have chased Lars out only after he’d helped him out of the contraption. Adew stood there and stared at the stand, feeling tired before he even started.
“You’ve been in worse pain than this,” he said psyching himself up. Being a UA fighter meant he got hurt every time he stepped into the sphere to fight or when he trained. Accidents do happen. He was used to pain. This was nothing new. He just had to push through it. He took a deep breath and turned around to back into the stand. He placed his feet into the footholds and leaned back until he heard it click in place. He undid the straps around his waist, followed by the one around his chest. He bent over and removed the one around his legs and thighs. By the time he was done he was gasping for air and trembling. The simple movements took everything out of him. He reached for the moving bot and sat down. The bot wheeled him to the bed.
Adew dragged himself off and lay down on the bed with a sigh.
“That went well,” he thought staring up at the ceiling. He lay there for a while, not moving, just catching his breath and giving his body a chance to rest. Calla’s clawed feet scratching the floor sounded as he moved around the house, exploring. Adew gave himself to the sound. He closed his eyes and sank into the soft mattress.
He was on the cusp of drifting off to sleep when his connector went off on the bedside table. Adew thought about ignoring it, but it might be Lars. If he didn’t answer, his manager would be there so fast it would be like he’d never left.
“What?” Adew barked as soon as the connection was completed. But he froze when he heard the voice from the other side.
“Adew?” Urim said hesitantly. “Is that you?”
Shit… Adew silently groaned. He slapped a hand on his face, calling himself all kinds of stupid. He’d managed to avoid Urim for the past year; now he’d had to drop the ball when he was out of the centre.
“Lars told me you were discharged from the health centre, but he wouldn’t tell me where you are. What’s going on, Adew? You refused to see me when you were in the centre. Did I do something wrong?” Urim asked. Adew winced at the catch in his voice, his heart clenching so hard he couldn’t breathe. This was what he didn’t want – the omega crying over him. He’d broken his heart enough.
“You didn’t do anything wrong, Urim. I’m just…” I’m not the alpha you remember, Adew said to himself unable to say it to him. But he knew he had to, or the omega would continue to cling to him.
“You’re what?” His voice broke. A whimpering sound filled the connector.
I did this to him. Adew could hear the pain ripping through him. He’d hurt the person he cherished and loved with all his heart. Urim was a beautiful omega with the brightest soul. That was one of the things that attracted him to Urim… his bright, beautiful soul. Adew wanted to cling to him with everything he had but he couldn’t drag him down into the darkness with him. He had to let him go, release him from the promise they had made to each other, no matter how much it hurt. Adew touched his chest.
“Do you know how hard it was for me to hear how you were doing from your parents?” Urim paused as if he was waiting for Adew to say something. He couldn’t let him see him like that. It would have killed him to see tears in his eyes. “It was painful. I wanted to see you, be with you. Make sure you were alright. But you wouldn’t let me. Why?” he cried.
Fuck. How was he going to make him understand?
“You weren’t the only one who was hurt that night, Adew. It broke my heart to see you carried out of the sphere like that. Your body so still. I thought you were dead. And then you shut me out like I was some stranger.” He cried this time. “Do you know what that did to me? I was devastated. I know we are not bonded yet, but it felt like I was rejected by my alpha. There’s no worse pain than that, Adew.”
“That’s the thing, Urim. I’m not the alpha you remember. I’m not the same.”
“I don’t care,” he shouted. “You are mine. We’ve been together for so long. I live with your damn parents, for goodness’s sake. We are as good as bonded.”
“Don’t use that against me. You know why you live with my parents.”
“Fine. I know. Without them I would have been living in some commune house waiting for you to make your dream come true. But that doesn’t mean that I don’t think of you as my bond alpha. We promised each other to be together for the rest of our lives. I waited for you, Adew. I devoted my life to you and believed in your dream of becoming a UA champion. I still believe in your dreams because they are my own. I love you. Don’t push me away, please.”
Fuck. This was too painful to let it go on any longer. “Urim…” he used his alpha voice on him. The omega hiccupped and fell silent. Adew hated doing that to him. He never used his alpha voice on him or let his aggression rise. Urim was too delicate and needed so much care. He found his aggressive side to be scary, so Adew kept it under wraps and only let it out in the ring. Not that he minded. Urim was sweet and beautiful.
“Urim… I’m not the alpha you remember. I can’t give you what you need. I can’t be there for you. Not the way you need me to be. My future is not certain. I might never walk without assistance again. And that’s not the life I want for you. You’ve been waiting for a beautiful life, and I want you to have it. I want you to find an alpha who is whole. An alpha who’ll give you everything you need.”
“No! Who are you to make that decision for me?”
“Urim, listen…”
“No. I’ll see you soon,” he said. The connector went silent in his hand. Adew stared at it for a few seconds, his heart hammering so hard in his chest.