“Wow,” he says.
“You mentioned lunch?” I slide my hand into his, and we walk like that up to the main cabin.
* * *
There’s something I need to tell them all. My palms are sweaty by the time we get through the door.
“Before we eat,” I say, “I need to talk to you all about something.”
The room goes still. All four of them look at me.
“I need to sit for this.”
They follow me to the living room and arrange themselves around me. I take a breath.
“Cassia thinks my heat is coming soon.”
The air shifts instantly. I can feel all of them tighten, their scents sharpening.
Archer leans forward, elbows on his knees. “We can ask Cassia about suppressants. You don’t have to go through this if you’re not ready.”
I shake my head. “That’s not an option. After what my body’s been through, she says more suppression could cause permanent damage.”
I look at my hands. This is the harder part.
“I need you all to understand something. When the time comes, I might react badly.” I force myself to look up. “The last time I was intimate with a male, I ended up sewn shut. I’m not worried about my physical safety with any of you. But my mind might take me somewhere else. Back to what they did to me.”
Silas leans forward, his dark eyes intent. He signs something.
“He’s asking what you need from us,” Archer says quietly.
I take a breath.
“I need you to know that I want this.” The words come out before I can second-guess them. “I trust you. Which is something I never thought I’d say to an alpha, let alone four of them.”
Nobody moves.
“But if I panic, if I say stop, you stop. Immediately. No questions asked.”
“Always,” Elias says. His usual ease is completely gone. “You don’t even have to ask for that.”
Archer nods. “Your body, your rules.”
Silas reaches across and takes my hand, squeezing it in confirmation.
I find Darius’s eyes last. He’s been standing slightly apart, tension in every line of him.
“I will never hurt you again,” he says. “Not ever.”
I nod.
I stand up, feeling exposed and vulnerable but oddly safe. “I just needed you all to know. Before it happens, now, let’s eat. I’m starving.”
36
Elias
I’ve been planning this for days.