Lily gets me to the truck, and I climb into the back and sit there with my hands pressed between my knees to stop them shaking.
“Blue,” Lily says gently, climbing in beside me. “Talk to me. Who was that?”
“No one.”
“You don’t turn that colour over nothing.”
I look down at my hands. Still shaking. I can’t make them stop.
“Someone from before,” I say finally. “From my old life. Someone who can’t know I’m here.”
Lily nods. She doesn’t push. She just sits beside me and puts her hand over both of mine. She stays with me, and eventually the shaking slowly fades.
When we get home, I tell the guys I’m tired, and I skip dinner. It isn’t fully a lie, but they give me my space. I go to myroom, closing the door. Sitting on the floor with my back against the bed, I pull Charly and Rocky into my lap.
“It’s fine,” I tell them. “He didn’t see me. It doesn’t matter.”
But it does. Seeing Stuart reminded me of everything I’ve been trying to forget since I got here. That the world outside of this compound is still the same world that broke me. That the alphas I ran from are still out there. The alpha who killed Sophie, and the alphas who sold and bought me, are still alive. And the boy who used me is still standing in front of a diner laughing while I sit on a bedroom floor talking to a stick and a rock.
Everything that happened to me with the wires traces back to a boy who smiled at me and told me I was beautiful.
Stuart saw me, and it’s only a matter of time before he tells the head alpha. I pull my knees to my chest and rest my forehead against them.
People who hurt you don’t disappear just because you find somewhere warm to sleep.
There’s a soft knock at the door. I don’t answer.
After a minute, I hear a plate being set on the floor outside. Footsteps retreating.
Silas.
I wait until the footsteps are gone, then open the door—a plate of mashed potatoes and a Diet Coke.
I grab them, sit back on the floor, and eat. The potatoes are perfect. Creamy, salted, exactly the way Darius makes them. Except Darius isn’t here. Someone made them exactly the way he does.
I eat until the plate is clean. Then crawl into bed and pull the covers over my head.
30
Mo
I’m hiding in my room when Elias bursts through the door without knocking. Typical alpha behaviour.
“Get up, Blueberry! We’re going on an adventure.” His eyes have that mischievous light that usually means trouble.
I pull the blanket over my head. “Not interested.”
“Come on.” He yanks the blanket away. “You’ve been moping in here for two days.”
“I’m not moping. I’m contemplating the universe.”
“While staring at the ceiling and sighing dramatically?”
I glare at him. “I do not sigh dramatically.”
“You absolutely do.” He drops onto the edge of my bed, making the whole thing bounce. “Look, I know going into town was a lot, and it freaked you out—”
“I wasn’t freaked out.”