“Any word from Darius?” I ask. Trying to sound casual about it.
Archer doesn’t look up from the dish he’s drying. “He’s fine.”
Something about the quickness of the answer makes me narrow my eyes. “That’s it? He’s fine?”
“Don’t worry.”
“Who’s worried?” I say, picking at the bread roll. “I’m not worried.”
Elias looks over his shoulder from the sink. “You just asked about him unprompted, Blueberry.”
“That’s not a worry. That’s curiosity. There’s a difference.”
“Sure, there is.”
I throw the bread roll at his head. He catches it without turning around.
Annoying.
That night, I think about Sophie. About how she would have loved this kitchen, this table, these stupid arguments about who over-seasoned the beef. She would have fit in here perfectly. Would have known exactly what to say to each of them, exactly how to smooth things over, exactly how to make it all work.
I’m not her, and I know I’ll never be her… But maybe I don’t have to be.
Maybe being me is enough.
29
Mo
The village is a forty-minute drive from the compound, down a dirt road that eventually turns to pavement. I sit in the back of the truck with Lily, watching the forest thin out and the world open up into something I haven’t seen in a long time.
Buildings. Signs. Other people’s cars.
Like visiting a planet I used to live on.
Archer is driving. Elias called shotgun and has been singing along to the radio for the entire ride, butchering every song with the kind of confidence only the truly tone-deaf possess. Three other pack members are in the truck behind us: a beta couple, Maren and Thom, who run the pack’s supply logistics, and Pam. I found out about approximately three minutes before we left, and I couldn’t exactly object without looking like I cared.
I don’t care. Pam can go wherever she wants. She can ride on the roof for all it matters to me.
Lily nudges my arm. “You okay? You’ve got that face.”
“What face?”
“The one where you’re pretending something doesn’t bother you, but your jaw is doing that thing.”
I unclench my jaw. “I’m fine. Just haven’t been around this many people in a while. Civilization is weird.”
That part is true. The compound has become familiar, comfortable even, but this is different. Out here, I’m surrounded by strangers, and three years of hiding in the woods has left me with zero social skills.
Archer parks near the general store, and we pile out. The village is small. One main street with a handful of shops, a hardware store, a diner with a hand-painted sign, and what looks like a community market set up in a parking lot. I can tell from the scents drifting through the air that other wolf packs use this town, too. Territory lines blur in places like this. Neutral ground for everyone.
“Alright,” Archer says, pulling a list from his pocket. “Lily, you and Blue take the food list. Maren, Thom, and Pam, hardware and medical supplies. Elias, you’re with me.”
Elias whines. “Why can’t I go with Blue?”
“Because last time you were in charge of groceries, you came back with four cases of beer, a bag of gummy bears, and nothing else.”
Pam hovers near the second truck, making a point of not looking at me. I return the favour. We’ve settled into a routine of aggressive mutual ignoring that works for both of us.