“Look, Silas!” She holds up a flat stone. “Perfect for skipping. We should try it on the stream on the way back.”
He takes it from her. Their fingers brush. I bite back a snarl so hard my teeth ache.
“Darius,” Archer whispers. “Get it together.”
I force the wolf down. It takes more effort than it should. But Archer’s right. Losing control out here, letting the jealousy take over, that’s exactly the kind of shit that got me into this mess. Blue doesn’t need another alpha trying to own her. She needs someone who can stand back and let her choose.
And right now, she’s choosing Silas. Rocks and streams and the quiet of the forest with a male who doesn’t demand anything from her. I have to be okay with that.
Even if it’s killing me.
She bends down to inspect a patch of wildflowers, tracing the petals with her fingertips. Silas stands beside her, arms loaded with her collection, patient as a mountain. The two of them look perfectly matched in a way that makes my stomach churn, and my heart break simultaneously.
I’ve never wanted anything this badly. And I’ve never been more sure that I don’t deserve it.
But I’m going to try. I have to, even if it takes the rest of my life. Even if she never looks at me the way she looks at him. I’ll find a way to be someone she doesn’t fear. Someone she can trust. Someone who earns her instead of taking her.
I watch her laugh in the sunlight, her face open and alive, and I know two things with absolute certainty.
She’s my mate.
And I’ll burn the whole world down before I let anyone, including myself, hurt her again.
19
Mo
I’m on my hands and knees on my bedroom floor, arranging the rocks Silas and I gathered into patterns. The smooth, cool stones feel good against my skin as I position each one, turning it until the angle is right, until the striped one sits beside the speckled one and the little round grey one anchors the bottom row.
I sit back on my heels and survey my work. Charly and Rocky now have a whole village of friends. I’ve given them names I won’t repeat to anyone because they’re embarrassing.
“Look, guys,” I say. “You’ve got new friends now.”
Charly is arguing with Rocky about the merits of staying. At least, that’s what I’m telling myself they’re doing. Charly’s main argument is the bed.
I fucking love this bed.
A small smile pulls at my mouth as I adjust a quartz piece so it catches the light from the window.
Fuck.
I’m smiling.
Motherfucker.
My time in the woods with Silas, these rocks, the comforter I’m kneeling on that I secretly love so much I’d fight anyone who tried to take it. Something has shifted, and I can’t quite shift it back.
I groan and flop onto the carpet. “Goddammit.”
Darius’s voice carries down the hall before I can wallow any further. “Dinner’s ready!”
My stomach growls on command. I haul myself up and make my way to the dining room.
Darius is wearing a “Kiss the alpha” apron over his bare chest. The domesticity of it, coming from the male who chained me to a wall, is so absurd I almost laugh. He grunts and slides a heaping plate of mashed potatoes in front of my chair. There’s a Diet Coke beside it, just like I asked for.
I eye him as I sit down. “Thanks. I guess.”
He nods stiffly and moves on. He’s been like this lately. Less aggressive, more distant. Not cold exactly, but careful. Like he’s afraid of saying the wrong thing. Which is new for an alpha whose default setting used to be “bark orders and glare.”