But I’m too selfish to let her go.
46
Mo
Later that night, once Sophie is asleep, I walk down one of the trails I used to run as a kid. The one that leads to the lake. My head is spinning with everything. Sophie’s alive. The head alpha is dead. This place, which was once a prison, is becoming something new.
I stop at the shoreline and skip rocks across the surface. One, two, three jumps before it sinks.
“You’re improving.”
I turn. Darius is standing a few feet away. I haven’t seen much of him since the fight. He’s been keeping his distance, giving me space with Sophie, but his eyes have followed me everywhere.
“Silas has been teaching me,” I say.
He nods, picks up a flat stone of his own, and sends it skipping five times before it disappears.
“Show-off,” I mutter, and the corner of his mouth twitches.
We stand in silence for a while, watching the ripples spread across the water. The lake stills once again, mirroring the stars overhead. The air smells like pine and freshly turned earth and crisp, clean water. Like memories I’d forgotten I had.
“Sophie’s getting stronger,” I say.
“I’ve noticed.”
“She wants to stay here. Help rebuild the pack.”
Darius doesn’t look surprised. “And you?”
The question hangs between us. I pick up another rock, turn it over in my hands, feeling its weight.
“I don’t know yet,” I admit. “Part of me wants to burn this whole place to the ground and never look back. But another part…”
“Wants to build something better,” he finishes.
I nod, wrapping my arms around myself against the night chill. “She’s all I have, Darius. I can’t leave her again.”
“You have more than just Sophie.” He pauses. “You know that.”
I look up at him. He’s close enough that I can feel the heat coming off him, and I inhale the smell of pine and earth that’s become so familiar.
“Why didn’t you come during my heat?” The question slips out before I can stop it.
His jaw tightens. “You know why.”
“Tell me, anyway.”
He takes a breath. “Because I wanted you to choose me when you were yourself. Not when your body was making the choice for you.”
My ribcage feels as if it’s shrinking, squeezing my lungs until I can’t draw a full breath.
“And if I choose you now?”
His eyes darken. “Blue…”
“I forgave you,” I say, stepping closer. “I meant it.”
“I took your freedom,” he says, voice rough. “I chained you to a bed, and you almost died.”