The life in this room. The brightness in everyone’s faces. How each moment feels so warm and tasty, I could just melt right into it like cream into coffee.
Is this what life could be like?
We’re floating on an inflatable pool lounger in the guest wing swimming pool. The sky is just cloudy enough that it doesn’t feel like we’re being spit-roasted in the afternoon sun. It’s a downright paradise—until TJ gets a funny idea, goes to tickle me, the whole inflatable capsizes, and we crash into the water in a fit of laughter and shouts. I get him back for that, don’t worry, cornering him in the pool and tickling the guy without mercy until he’s nothing but tears and choked screaming.
Then we grow really still, and we’re just looking at each other, droplets of water sparkling on our skin, eyes alight with laughter, neither of us moving.
I go in for a kiss.
He melts into me, arms slipping around my body.
And the pair of us get lost in the corner of that pool with our lips and the water playing around our waists.
I can’t get enough of this guy.
We lounge in the shade of the gazebo a few hours later while he tells me more about his roommate back at school. He’s right in the middle of expressing how he wants to fly out to LA to visit him when a flock of six ducks come out of fucking nowhere and land in the pool, stopping our conversation short. We stare, stunned. “Is that Little A?” I ask, spotting my weird, feathery guy in the middle of the flock looking like he’s gone from being the odd-one-out to being their ringleader, taking shit from no one. TJ and I look at each other. Then fight back laughter. And when TJ can’t hold it in anymore, his explosion sends the ducks scattering back into the sky, and his laughter only grows as I shout out, “No, Little A! Come back! I miss you! Don’t you remember Daddy Austin? Come back!!”
At least the little guy’s happy.
Or became a Duck Mob Boss now or something.
It’s that night after our showers that I check my phone for the first time since stepping foot in this house yesterday.I know, right?I scroll past a ton of nonsense to reach a text from Wily saying he has an idea about a new bass line in “Hate Me For a Reason” and to call him back whenever—the guy’s brain never shuts off, I swear, even during a two-week break. A message from my mom asking when the tour’s over. And nothing whatsoever from Ianorthe label, which I’m honestly kind of surprised about.
Surprised in a good way, I think.
I text my mom back. Tell her I love her. And say I’ll let her know when I know, which I’m sure will earn a smile—Ian’s known for adding dates last minute.
Thinking about that pulls my mind to the less fun stuff. Ian’s last words to me. The tour continuing on after my precious time here with TJ. The world outside this paradise waiting on me like eyes peeping over a fence, already ready to snatch me back.
That outside world used to look so much friendlier. The thing I looked forward to escaping to. The peeping eyes used to be open ears. I felt purposeful. They drew me out of the dark.
But now my life is full of light, thanks to TJ.
I don’t need any drawing out.
Not anymore.
“I love sleeping in your arms,” TJ tells me when we’re cozied up in his bed, the lights off, window curtains drawn wide open—a stark contrast to the hotel rooms we’re used to. “It’s my new favorite thing. Even more than pancakes.”
I grin against the back of his neck, spooning him, and it’s with that big-ass grin spread over my face that I swear I drift into the most peaceful sleep I’ve ever known.
That next morning, we have pancakes.
And maybe the next one, too.
Every morning is a brand new adventure. I’m stunned at how fast I’ve bonded with his dad. And apparently Cissy’s been holding out on me, failing to mention a collection of funny-ass coffee mugs she keeps, discovered only when she spots me bringing my own favorite smiley mug to the kitchen for a fix of caffeine. “Yep, our Fourth of July Boomin’ Barbecue is going to besomuch fun, and I am insanely happy you’ll be here for it,” Cissy tells me when TJ is off on a quick trip to the bathroom. “There’s gonna be fireworks galore when the sun’s down—I made sure to order twice as many as Nadine does, not that it’s a competition. The whole town will be here, but don’t you worry, there’s plenty of space for everyone to spread around, so it’ll never quite feel crowded. TJ told me you … have a thing about crowds?” she adds in a hush. “Really, I can cut the guest list in half if it’d make you more comfortable.”
“Don’t you dare,” I say back to her with a smile, and the relief on her face is palpable. “I’m honored to be here for yourBooming Barbecue, as long as I get to set off one or two of those fireworks.”
“Oh, sweetheart, I hire professionals for that. Can you believe Nadine actually lets her boys set them off every—nope, sorry, told myself I wouldn’t gossip.” That lasts half a second before she adds, “It’s a miracle Jimmy and Tanner still have all their fingers.”
Then TJ appears from around the corner and stops short, his face wrinkled up. “What about fingers?”
Cissy and I share a smile.
I do love mornings in this place.
I guess the evenings aren’t so bad either. Dipping our toes in the swimming pool, taking in the warm evening air, talking about nothing, talking about everything, waiting for the stars to come out of the blue gloom.