“Of course I did.” He chuckles. “That such a surprise?”
My brain is combing back through all our conversations. “Did we use that word already? Did I … or did you … already …?”
“I’m usin’ it now.”
I stare back at him like that word just landed like a spaceship from one of those alien plants he and my dad believe in.
“Figured it’s time to be honest. To stop being a dang coward ineveryaspect of my life.” He gives me a sexy smirk. “Especially in the most important one. Here with you.”
I come out of it. “Well … that’s … quite a word to just toss out there before you go and blow up your whole career. Are you sure that you—?”
He cuts me off with a kiss.
I swear the world goes silent the second his lips touch mine.
Everything shut off at once.
Perfect. Peaceful. Still.
He says, “Why should I bother singin’ a hundred songs up on that stage if I can’t say the one dang thing that actually matters?”
My eyes open to his starry eyes and confident smile.
I’m very well aware that we’re far away from any concept of a happy ending just yet. I know that, despite this kiss, despite that L word, the Chase Holt the world knows and adores can end tonight.
“You said we could have it all,” he reminds me. Kisses me one more time. “Here’s me believing in you.”
Chapter 22.
Austin
And this is me discovering a version of my life I didn’t know I could possibly have.
I don’t know how long I get to have this.
I just know I don’t want to give it back.
As I step onto the stage, I realize that for the first time in a long time, everything feels easy. Which often means it won’t stay that way.
TJ made all the sensible remarks—he always does.
Everythingcouldget so much worse.
The labelcouldcut ties with me.
And poor Ian … always at the whim of every reckless decision I make.
You’d expect my heart to be pounding when I get up on the stage, but I’m as calm as a sliced cucumber. I feel like I’m at home. Fiona is with her keys, running her fingers over them thoughtfully and looking inspired. I wonder if she has Laina on her mind, if she is who Fiona performs for. I see Raj doing one last circle of his kit, light on his feet, bouncy and happy. Even our usual straight-faced Wily has a cute smirk as he runs fingers up and down the strings of his bass guitar and taking in our limitedaudience tonight while slowly nodding, like he’s ready for the heat.
I’ve never felt more connected to these guys.
And afraid to lose it all in one sweeping turn of the online masses.
I lift Glorious off his stand, gently sling him around me like a lover’s arm, and caress him to my body, giving the strings a couple test strums.
That seems to be the trigger. Everyone going quiet. Waiting. Eyes up on the stage.
The guy in the front with the main camera lifts his eyebrows at me and lifts his thumb, awaiting my signal.