3
The Town’s Favorite Liar
A wooden cutout of a dinosaur with a cowboy hat on and a hole for a face.
Until Tanner’s appears in said hole, grinning.
The crowd all around Main Street cheers me on—“Billy! Billy! Billy!”—and I have a big ol’ pie sitting on my palm.
Even Joshua and Marcus are clapping.
Tanner grits his teeth and twists his face into something of a grimace of anticipation, like a shrug without shoulders.
When I finally pitch the pie—and it shatters like cream soda over my husband’s face, all gloppy and bubbling and runny—the screams of delight around me are so loud I have to cover my ears. I feel pats on my back from our friends and the locals, listento their muffled congratulations, and watch the tears of laughter and fun in their eyes.
And when my husband comes out from behind the dinosaur, licking his lips and saying something I don’t catch that makes the whole crowd erupt into more laughter, I just watch him in a daze, feeling like I’m not even here.
No one knows what’s really going on with us. We’re so good at keeping secrets.
I guess I’ve officially become the town’s favorite liar.
Then I’m in front of a table full of pies, and Patsy, known for her restaurant and the creative, tasty pies it serves, eagerly awaits my verdict on a new flavor she’s debuting. I taste it and tell her it’s my favorite yet.
And that makes one more face in town I’ve won over with my soulless smile.
Next, I’m at a kiosk at the other end of Main Street joining a pair of my friends, Mindy and Joel, who are married and enjoying a rare afternoon off, taking advantage of one of their parents who were eager to watch over the twins at home. We’re in the middle of commenting on some beautiful animal-shaped wood carvings for sale when Joel says, “Dunno what you’re sneakin’ into Tanner’s breakfasts, but he’s been dang chipper lately.” Mindy chuckles her agreement and dryly adds, “You and Tanner have been horny for each other since I can remember. Good sex is the secret to a happy marriage.” She eyes Joel. “Maybe you should take notes.” Joel lets out a laugh—until he realizes he’s the one being mocked, and his face twists right up, burning red.
I’ve known Mindy since high school, long before she and her husband were even an idea. And even she is fooled by my subpar performance, as I attend this fundraiser, peruse all the crafts, and taste—and throw—pies. Of all people in town to see the realme and remark about how I’m not myself lately, I was counting on her.
Maybe I’m better at faking happy than I thought.
Without warning, Joshua rushes up and crashes into my side. “Bee!” he screams. “Bee! Bee!Beeeeee!”
A very out-of-breath Marcus catches up, having chased his brother across the square. “There’s … no …bee… Joshua …”
“Yeah, there was!” He tucks himself behind me, figuring it’s better the bee gets me than him, I guess.
“It was just a fly. It’s already gone.”
“You’re lying! I saw it!”
Marcus sighs heavily. “You’re just mad because Dad didn’t let you have a—”
“Because Dad didn’t what?” asks Tanner innocently, popping up out of thin air. He balances four ice cream cones precariously between his big hands, each one a different flavor, pink, green, chocolate, blue. “You think I was serious when I said no sweets? C’mon, boys, you know me better. Pick one. Fast. They’re melting. Not the green one, that’s for Papa here.”
It’s like the bee never existed as Joshua gleefully snatches the chocolate one out of his hands—nearly causing Tanner to drop the rest—then shouts, “Thanks!” and tears off back into the festival. Marcus picks blue, sighs out, “Thanks, Dad,” and heads off tiredly after his brother, calling, “Hey, not so fast! Watch where you’re going! You’ll run into someone!”
Tanner chuckles to himself, shakes his head, teary-eyed with laughter, then turns to me. After a moment’s hesitation, he offers the green one. “Here you go, babe. Minty chips for you.”
I take it. “You still have pie in your ear.”
“In my—?” He grabs the wrong ear, wiping. “Where?” Then he goes for the other, finds the glob of cream, wipes it, and brings it to his lips. “Damned good pie, to be honest.”
I don’t know if it’s the goofy expression he makes after licking it off his finger, or the fact that he ate it at all, but I snort, crack a smile, and look away.
Tanner’s voice comes close to my ear, sounding playful. “You seem to be smiling a lot today, despite everything.”
“Yeah,” I agree dryly. “I’m getting awful good at that.”