TWENTY
CLARA
Cold air burnedin my lungs, each breath a sharp drag, but everywhere else was heat—wild and disorganized, pulsing under my skin like I’d swallowed a live wire. Snow prickled along the back of my neck, sneaking under my coat and melting down my spine. I barely registered it.
All my nerve endings had narrowed to two points.
His hand on my hip.
His palm at the back of my neck.
Wes’s fingers were still there, heavy and warm through my coat, holding me like he hadn’t decided yet whether to let go. His body was solid beneath me, the sled buried somewhere under the tangle of our limbs, his chest rising hard against mine as we tried to remember how to breathe.
The first coherent thought that made it through the static was notWhat did I just do?
It wasOh my god, I want more.
Heat throbbed low in my core, deep and insistent. My thighs pressed tight around his like they were trying to keep him there, my muscles aware of every inch of him in a way my brain absolutely could not handle. I could feel the imprint of his mouthon mine, the echo of his tongue against mine, the way he’d groaned into the kiss like I’d given him back a piece of himself.
My fingers were still fisted in the front of his coat, knuckles buried in the thick fabric like I’d gone down with the ship and taken him with me.
This is bad. This is so, so bad.
“So that was ...” My voice came out high and breathless, too bright, like I was narrating someone else’s choices. “Probably a terrible idea.”
It sounded like a joke, but I used it like armor.
Under me, Wes’s chest expanded with a harsh inhale. His hand didn’t immediately leave my hip. His fingers flexed once like he was testing his own grip on reality, and then loosened.
“Yeah.” His breath puffed white between us, the word rough, humorless. “Definitely ... not smart.”
The speed of his agreement hit my ribs like a small, mean punch.
I nodded so quickly I probably looked like a bobblehead. “Right. Of course. Adrenaline.” My laugh came out thin and skittered off into the open air. “Post-sledding brain malfunction.”
My body had the audacity to disagree.
Heat pulsed between my legs, sharp and rhythmic, like my nerves were frayed. My nipples dragged against the inside of my bra, tight and aching, every part of me cataloging the solid weight of him beneath me, the way his thigh was still slotted between mine, the way his mouth had felt like a problem I wanted to have again.
His thumb dragged once at my waist, a tiny, traitorous stroke I might’ve imagined if my heartbeat wasn’t pounding in my ears at the exact same time.
On the surface, we were two adults acknowledging a mistake.
Inside, I knew that wasn’t what any of that had been.
I pried my hands free of his coat one finger at a time and pushed up, snow squeaking under my knee. The world tilted as I scrambled off his lap, boots slipping before they caught, heart still trying to climb out of my throat.
“Okay,” I blurted, brushing at my sleeves like that would erase the last sixty seconds. Snowflakes scattered off my coat and onto his chest. “Well. You’re alive. Sledding achievement unlocked.”
Shut up, Clara.
I swiped at the snow clinging to my legs, dusting it off a little too hard, like I could scrub away the way my body was still buzzing. My pulse hadn’t gotten the memo that we were going back to being reasonable human beings.
Behind me, I felt more than saw him sit up. I heard the low rustle of his coat and the faint scrape of the sled against packed snow.
I didn’t look at his mouth.
I didn’t look at his hands.