My mother left for Sicily this morning. Before she went, she pulled me aside and told me I was an idiot and I was destroying it with my jealousy and control.
Jealousy.
Is that what this is?
I press my palm against her door. The wood is cool under my hand.
I should apologize. I know I should apologize. But the words stick in my throat like broken glass. I've never apologized for anything in my life. Sartoris don't apologize. We act. We take. We control.
Except I can't control this. I can't control her.
And that terrifies me more than anything.
I shouldn't do this. I know I shouldn't do this.
I do it anyway.
I grab the handle. The door swings open.
Antonella is asleep.
She's lying on her side, facing away from the door. Her blonde hair spills across the pillow. She's wearing those shorts again. The ones that barely cover anything. And a hoodie that's ridden up in her sleep, exposing the curve of her waist, the dip of her spine.
I wheel closer. Quiet. Careful.
She shifts in her sleep. The hoodie rides higher.
I stop breathing.
The fabric has bunched up around her ribs. She's not wearing anything underneath. I can see the side of her breast. The soft curve. The shadow of her nipple.
Fuck.
My body responds before my mind can catch up. Blood rushes south. My cock hardens against my will, straining against my pants.
I can't want her. I told her the kiss was a mistake. I told her she should leave. I told her this marriage is just a transaction.
But my body doesn't care about what I told her.
I grip the armrests of my wheelchair.
My hand drops to my lap. Presses against the bulge in my pants. The pressure sends a jolt through me.
I palm myself through the fabric. My breath catches. My hips shift involuntarily.
This is wrong. She's asleep. She doesn't know I'm here. She doesn't know I'm?—
Her eyes open.
Green. Bright. Alert.
She's awake. She's been awake.
I freeze. My hand is still on my cock. There's no hiding what I was doing. No explaining it away.
"Antonella—"
She doesn't scream. Doesn't yell at me to get out. Doesn't reach for something to throw at my head.