It worked. It was so easy to let everything fall away and give him my full attention. His eyes were pools I could drown in, and it was exactly what I needed at that moment, even as the small piece of plastic in my other hand seemed to begin to gain weight.
“Is it time?” he asked.
My breath seemed to get stuck in my throat as I broke our gaze and let my eyes fall to my hand hanging limply by my side, clinging to the stick like it was a lifeline.
It was time.
It was time to look at the stick and figure out where the hell we went from here.
It was time to see if Drew and I were going to be parents.
“I don’t think I can look. I want this too badly.”
Drew swallowed hard. “Then let me do it.”
I pressed the test into his hand as I stumbled away. I didn’t go far, just turned and dropped my ass to sit on the edge of the bed as I tried to find the air in the room.
Drew gripped it with a white-knuckle force, holding it down by his thigh, never taking his eyes from me the whole time. He dropped to his knees in front of me and positioned himself carefully between my parted legs, resting his free hand on my thigh.
“Ready?” he whispered.
All I was capable of doing is nodding. I just needed to know.
A whispered, “Jesus,” fell from his lips before he looked down at the stick, holding it in both of his hands slightly trembling hands. I’d never seen him tremble that way.
“Tell me what I’m meant to be seeing.” A small scowl creased his brows.
“Two lines means positive. One is… negative.”
He swallowed again, his frown deepening as he nodded in gentle understanding.
I was so focused on the movement on his eyes, I forgot to breathe.
Drew looked up, his face creased, and his eyes glistening with unshed emotion, and my heart dropped into the pit of my stomach.
Biting down on his bottom lip, Drew carefully placed he test to the floor beside him, and he closed the distance between us, dropping his head to my stomach and burying himself there, a quiet sob I’d never heard him make before pouring free. The rush of his hot breath against my skin made the hairs on the back of my neck stand to attention.
He wrapped his arms around me, claiming me, his fingers curling into my back like he wanted to climb inside me.
“It’s positive,” he choked.
“What?” I whispered.
“You’re pregnant, Ayda.’”
My hands fell to his hair, burying themselves in the strands as I wrapped my body around his head as best I could.Overcome with emotion, I started to cry. The images of the future I wanted and had so desperately denied myself suddenly formed with perfect clarity. Those rocking chairs Drew had talked about, the children, even a puppy all formed in my head and stretched out like a red carpet.
We were going to have a baby. There was a child inside me growing.
Our baby.
“Drew.” His name came as a choking sound as I slowly uncurled myself from him and ran my fingers through his hair. He was still clinging to me, his head in my lap, but I needed to see his eyes. I needed to be able to see if this was truly what he wanted. That brief second of recognition had been followed with an emotion I’d never seen on his features before.
When he lifted his head and his red-rimmed eyes locked on mine, he didn’t look like my Drew. This man looked lost in his own head, unsure of what to say or do. An unsure Drew wasn’t one I knew well. I reached out, cupped his cheek with my hand and watched as his eyes closed and he pressed against my palm.
I took a breath, my mouth opening and closing, trying to form words to say, when the muscles in Drew’s cheeks twitched mere seconds before his face broke out into a grin that made him look so young and free, it took my breath away.
All the stress and worry he wore daily was put aside, and all that remained was Drew.
My Drew.
Tears fell freely as I watched him. No words were necessary. All he had to do was open his eyes to see my smile matching his. To see the happiness that I felt all around me. But he didn’t open his eyes. He stayed in the moment, so I took advantage and leaned in, pressing my lips over his so he would feel my aching happiness radiating from me. My lipswere against his when I finally whispered, “Me, too.”