Chapter Forty-Six
AYDA
Ihoped I would never get used to the feeling of waking up to Drew Tucker. Every morning felt like the best kind of gift, the more relaxed version of the man I loved had made me fall deeper and deeper in love with him.
And it always started with this moment—the one where I opened my eyes and saw him sliding a mug of coffee on to the nightstand, those fully reformed muscles rippling under his inked skin before he unleashed that stare of his on me.
I knew how lucky we were. We had one another, we had the club, and we’d come out of the other side of it all with a few scars, but we were still alive. We’d settled into a nice kind of calm that felt natural—months with no drama—outside of the teenagers that still insisted on acting like toddlers occasionally, anyway.
As Drew sat on the edge of the bed, the sun shone over the scar just under his ribs and, like I did most mornings, I ran my fingers over it, flashing him a smile when his eyes lit up.
“Morning.”
“Morning,” he whispered adoringly.
“How long have you been up?” I asked, stretching out like a cat and rubbing my hand over the small rise of my belly whereour baby was growing.
“A couple of hours. Not too long this morning.” His gaze drifted down to my stomach where he placed his hand over mine. “Everything okay with my two favorite people this morning?” he asked, leaning down and brushing his lips against mine.
“All the better now you’re here. We’ve decided that it’s gonna suck not waking up next to you tomorrow, but the tradeoff is totally worth it.” I twisted my hand under his and linked our fingers together. “You nervous yet? Cold feet?”
“Nope and nope. Calm and toasty. You?”
“Never been warmer,” I admitted, shifting onto my side so I could see his face better. He looked happy, or at least happier. It had been a long process over the last couple of months, but this look of contentment was my new favorite on him. “You wanna come and give charm and charisma some love before you become a married man?”
“You wanna stop asking your future husband stupid questions and shift over already so I can grope my future wife?” He smirked.
Shuffling back in the bed, I flung the comforter back from my body with a quiet flourish. “Since when have you needed an invitation?”
“I don’t.” Drew moved around carefully, kicking off his sneakers and propping himself up on a pillow, opening his arm for me to lay on his chest.
He’d been outside. I could smell it on him when I buried my face into his chest. I had been checking the weather almost obsessively over the past few weeks, and I knew it was going to be sunny, hot and dry, just like every other day.
Sinking into him, I let my eyes slide closed and took in the moment. I liked to memorize the little things that I loved. These were the things I wanted to tell our kid about when they asked how I fell in love with their dad, or what I loved abouthim most. I couldn’t tell them about his strength and bravery, or how I adored that crazy martyr side of him that had taken on the world with his two bare hands to protect the ones he loved.
I also wanted to selfishly bask in the moments where it was just he and I. The two of us alone.
In another month, we were going to be able to find out if this bun in my oven was a girl or a boy, and I had a feeling that the whole world was going to change then. The baby still felt like a dream, but that would make it real.
“Before the madness of tomorrow starts, and I break down and allow my hormones to take over, I want to say thank you.” I lifted my head and twisted to find his eyes.
“Thank you?”
I smiled up at him. “Yeah, thank you. Thank you for reminding me what it feels like to be happy. For pulling me out of my own personal Hell and loving me even when I was a pain in the ass.”
Drew’s jaw ticked as his eyes searched mine. “I loved youbecauseyou were a pain in the ass, Ayda. I love you now because you refuse to make things easy for me. If you’d have been softer, weaker even, I wouldn’t know how lucky I am to have you. I wouldn’t appreciate everything you brought to the table for me, too. So I guess the gratitude works both ways, right?”
I felt that familiar love rise inside of me with every word he said. I hoped my smile told him everything I was feeling because those damn hormones also made me a crazy emotional at times. I was dangerously close to being a blubbering fool again.
“I guess what I’m saying is I love you, and you’ve made me happier than I thought I could ever be. I didn’t think about getting married or having kids much after Mom and Dad died. I didn’t see much of a future at all. I wasn’t living. Then alongyou came, and I’ve never felt so alive in my life. I don’t think I could have given you up, even if you’d tried to make me.”
He reached up with his free hand, brushing a thumb across the apple of my cheek. “I remember trying to make you give up this life a few times. Thank God you were born stubborn. But I could argue this with you all day, telling you I feel like I’m the one who should be thanking you while you tell me you’re the one who should be thanking me. So, let’s agree to disagree on who deserves who more. Let’s be thankful we’re here, doing this, waiting for tomorrow, and let me tell you that you’re welcome, Ayda Hanagan. If I had to walk into a diner again and pick out any waitress in any part of the world, I’d walk right back into Rusty’s and pick you all over again.”
“Remind me to thank Tate one day, when he’s not a hormonal jackass with an attitude.” I sniffed trying to hide those emotions I’d tried so hard to suppress.
“Ayda?”
“Hmm?”