I raised an eyebrow, my chest tightening at her name.
“And we thought you might like to join us.”
“Thank you,” I said, fighting to keep my voice steady. “But I have work to do here.”
Haruto stepped closer and took a deep breath. “Coach,” he paused, jaw tight. “I don’t know why she quit instead of just breaking up with Cole and Tristan, but—” He pressed his lips together, vulnerability flickering across his features. “She’s part of the team. Whatever was going on between you two, she respected you immensely. I think it would mean a lot to her if you were to join us today.”
Respected me.
The words were acid, melting through my layers of self-disgust. Our goalie, a star player with an NHL contract, the fucking moral compass of the team, was so fucking wrong about my relationship with Eva. But I couldn’t tell him that. Couldn’t explain the nights I’d spent clawing at my sheets,loathing myself for the way I’d used her desperation. Couldn’t describe the mornings I’d stood under scalding water, stroking myself to memories of her submission while hating every second of my need for her.
Or how much I fucking missed her.
“Another time,” I said finally.
Haruto’s shoulders dropped, disappointment making him look older than twenty-two. “She’s hurting, Coach.”
Because of me.
The thought followed me long after he left. I tried to focus on game footage, on recruitment, on anything that wasn’t the memory of Eva’s face when?—
Fuck.
I shoved back from my desk with an oath. Selfish fucking bastard that I was, I needed to see her with my own eyes.
Eva’s house looked different.Neater. The peeling paint had been touched up, the front steps repaired. Cars filled the short driveway and lined the snow-covered street in front. I parked down the block, gripping the steering wheel until my knuckles went white.
I didn’t want to see her.
I didn’t want to look her in the eye and see the woman who’d betrayed me and my team and fucking Cole to Jed Carter. I didn’t want to go another minute without seeing her clear green eyes for myself, knowing her spine was still straight, and she was still conquering the world with her iron will.
Because if she was fine, I could continue to hate her.
Blyat.
The crisp air hit my lungs as I walked to her house, doing nothing to settle the uncertainty churning in my gut.
Tristan waited on the porch, arms crossed, leaning on the wooden slats of the wall. He smiled ruefully when I approached. “She wouldn’t let me in.”
I exhaled sharply. “I’m sorry,” I said simply. He was as in love with her as he ever was, even if he’d been too wrapped up in the fun of fucking her to realize it.
Tristan shrugged. “Shouldn’t be surprised after what we did to her.”
“I don’t intend to give her a choice.”
Tristan raised an eyebrow, his lips tilting up in a smile. His hands slid down to his pockets, so handsome and cheerful, it hurt my fucking heart. “Sounds like more of the same then.”
“I have to—” I stopped. I didn’t owe Tristan or anyone else an explanation for why I had to lay eyes on Eva, why I had to see for myself that she was okay. I raised my hand to knock, but Rami opened the door before I could touch wood.
He was the first of a crowd of players and puck bunnies, laughing, teasing. Their good spirits should have been infectious, but all I could think about was getting through them to see Eva.
Rami looked me up and down, tensing, and the group of young people gradually fell silent. Yeah, they fucking knew something was up. And then something changed, and Rami’s shoulders relaxed with relief. “I’m glad you made it, Coach,” he said. “We’re on our way out.”
I stepped aside as the group filed past me, each player offering a respectful nod. The weight of their trust pressed against my chest, crushing me.
Eva sat curled up on the couch, rubbing her eyes as if she were exhausted. When she looked up at me, she froze.
My heart stopped.