Relief hit me so hard, I nearly collapsed. “You get there okay?”
“In the parking lot, pulling up my courage to go in. Roads were rough.”
I gave Haruto a weak thumbs up.
“And Eva?” Haruto asked.
“You’re on speaker,” I told Tristan. “Any word of Eva?”
“I’ll let you know when I hear something.”
The line went dead, leaving me alone with Haruto’s disgust. “The fucking hospital,” he said as I hung up the phone. “You all are a piece of fucking work, you know that?”
Yeah.I know.My phone buzzed against my thigh, and without thinking, I reached for it, automatically swiping on Eva’s social media, only to find the same fucking pictures as last week, before we lost the series to the Hawks.
Fuck her.
I threw the phone across the room.
“You’re such a fucking asshole,” Haruto said and dumped cold water on my face.
Sputtering, I threw myself to my feet, only to sway and collapse back onto the bed. The room spun, but not fast enough to blur Eva’s smile in the last picture. When was the last time I made her look like that?
Never, you piece of shit.
“I’m calling Coach,” he said, but before he could, I flung up my hand.
“No, wait, stop.” The last thing I wanted to see was Coach. He’d been fucking my girl all fucking semester. He’d been no better than we were—worse, even. He’d made her give him a blowjob so she could get the position with the team she needed to spy for my father.
I threw my arm over my eyes. “It’s too fucking bright.”
Haruto stood at the foot of my bed, disgust in his eyes. “Why do you look like you got the shit beat out of you?”
I waved my hand at him in an asshole move I knew would piss him off. “Begone.”
He snorted. “You’re not gonna get rid of me that easily.”
Massi popped his head into the room. Fuck, the captain. The last thing I needed was the man on the team who respected me the least seeing me at my worst.
No.
I’d chosen this.
Because I wanted to forget, and forgetting was fucking impossible when everyone kept adding me to group chatsabout goddamned Eva. Eva, Eva, Eva, who was in the hospital, who wasn’there.
Good. She’s better off elsewhere anyway. So fuck all of them.
I rolled back onto my side and hid my face with my arm. “Get the fuck out of here.”
Massi grabbed my feet and pulled. “You let Tristan drive to New York alone, you asshole, and instead of being the friend he deserves, you’re drinking yourself stupid.” He looked me up and down with disgust. “And fighting again, you fucking dick.”
Guilt slammed into my chest. Tristan. Fuck. I’d been so busy wallowing in my misery, I’d abandoned the one person who?—
“At least it’s not coke,” I sniped right back, regretting the thought instantly. A line of coke would be fucking heaven right now—euphoric joy that would wipe out the misery lodged in my gut.
Massi grabbed my feet, and Haruto grabbed my shoulders. I was too drunk and too sore to fight them off. The cold shock of water from the shower woke me the fuck up as two men I respected and hated in equal measure looked at me with disappointment that cut deeper than my father’s worst insults.
The shower still smelled like citrus and vanilla, that goddamned creamsicle shampoo. Her pink razor sat on the shelf, her face cream on my counter. I pressed my forehead against the tile and almost fucking lost it right there.