‘What did the police say?’ she says, intercepting me. ‘How screwed is Otis?’
Her unashamed glee snaps something inside me. Everything becomes too much. Otis and his shapeshifting personality, Gabby and her refusal to accept that he might not be a saint, Sonya and her strange, self-absorbed ways. And in the centre of it all, Alexa Clarke, still missing.
I come to a stop with my hands balled into fists. ‘Do you even care about Alexa, Sonya? Or do you just care about getting one over on Otis?’
Stunned, Sonya blinks. ‘Of course I care about Alexa. She’s my best friend.’
‘A best friend you never visited! A best friend whose story you couldn’t wait to cash in on.’
Sonya’s cheeks colour. ‘What the hell, Janine? You’re supposed to be on my side.’
‘There are no sides in this! A woman is missing. All I wanted to do was find her. No secret motive, no using this story for my own gain. When you look back at everything you’ve done, can you honestly say that?’
‘You know nothing about how I’ve spent my last few days.’
‘You’re right, I don’t, but I’m sure I’ll read about it in tomorrow’s newspaper. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going home.’
I make a move to walk away but Sonya grabs me by the arm. ‘Aligning yourself with a killer, huh? There I was, thinking you had more of a brain than that. Clearly, you’re not as clever as your books suggest.’ I flinch, a reaction Sonya smirks at. ‘Did I hurt you? Good. We could have found Lex days ago if it weren’t for you thinking you could play detective.’
‘Leave me alone,’ I say, pushing past Sonya before I say something I’ll regret.
‘You should leave solving crimes to your characters,’ she calls after me. ‘They’re the only ones who know what they’re doing.’
Even though I tell myself not to let Sonya get to me, her cattiness is hard to ignore. Tears blind me as I continue down Maple Crescent, but I refuse to break down with Sonya and the band of local gossips behind me.
Taking my phone from my pocket, I go to call Kamal, but as I unlock it, I spot several messages from Natalya in our group chat. My stomach drops.
The police are at Otis’s again and guess what? So is Janine! Looks like Margie was right… She’s been hanging around to scoop the story after all. How could we be so stupid to trust her?! x
Then the others, sent a few minutes later.
This is awkward. I obviously didn’t mean to send that in the group chat, but now a private conversation between me and Katherine is out in the open, I guess I can speak the truth.
Janine, it’s hurtful that you convinced me to write about Alexa Clarke while mining the story for a plot of your own. Worst of all, you pretended to know nothing about what was going on. If you’d been honest about your involvement, I would have backed off, but you lied to me and Katherine. That’s not what we signed up for when we started this writing group.
I’m not sure I feel comfortable sharing my work with someone so dishonest. I don’t want to speak for Katherine, but I think maybe it’s best you don’t come to writing group anymore.
My lips part as I come to a stunned standstill. At first, I think my upset is indignation over Natalya accusing me of something I didn’t do, but when my chin wobbles, I admit the truth. My writing group is my lifeline, but as with everything else, I have found a way to fuck it up.
Tears well up in my eyes as I type then delete different responses.
Don’t come back? Fine! I don’t know why I went to meetings in the first place.
Don’t abandon me. Please. I need you and Katherine.
But whatever I type, it doesn’t make this situation hurt less. I feel like a teenager again, all awkwardness and insecurity, trying to keep up with ever-changing social rules I don’t understand.
‘Janine?’
I jump, startled to see Dorrit standing at the edge of her garden. Blushing, I wipe my eyes with my sleeve.
‘Are you okay?’ Dorrit presses.
Are you okay?– famously the worst question you can ask someone who is in tears.
As my face crumbles, Dorrit reaches her hand out. ‘Come on. This is nothing a cup of tea and a biscuit can’t make better.’
Even though I suspect she’s wrong about that, I slip my phone to Do Not Disturb and follow Dorrit towards her home.