‘I’m right here,’ he murmurs back. ‘I’ll always be right here.’
My sleep is broken and accompanied by sadness, but still, I sleep. When I wake up, it’s to my husband handing me a freshly made coffee.
‘I debated whether to show you this,’ he says, his phone in his other hand. ‘But I think you’ll want to see it.’
Sitting upright, I look at what’s loaded on the screen. A well-groomed Sonya stares out from the home page of a national news site. In her manicured hands, she holds a picture of Alexa.
Grim-faced, I skim the article. Sonya has made Alexa headline news, and Otis the perfect villain.
Otis Clarke might seem like a nice guy, but I know the truth. Darkness lies within him. Soon, the whole country will find out what he’s really like and what he has done to my best friend.
‘This is…’ I breathe.
‘Brutal,’ Kamal finishes my sentence for me, then takes my hand in his. ‘Are you okay?’
Biting the side of my cheek, I nod.
‘This is why I was worried, Janine,’ Kamal says gently. ‘Neither of us know who Otis Clarke is.’
‘I know, it’s just…’ I trail off, staring deep into Kamal’s concerned eyes. ‘I’ve sat with Otis Clarke, Kamal. I’ve seen him lie, seen him get angry, seen him break down. There are sides to him and stories about him that unnerve me but… I don’t know. There’s a difference between someone being emotionally stunted and pig-headed and them being a murderer.’
‘Perhaps, but you don’t need to worry yourself with that. That’s a job for the police.’
‘But this article… imagine if someone wrote it about you. Imagine how your life would change. You know what the world is like. These day, things are shared online and never forgotten. Anytime anyone googles Otis’s name, this will come up. Does he deserve that if he’s not guilty? Does anyone?’
Slowly, Kamal nods. ‘I guess we’re all quicker to assume the worst than we are to seek the truth.’
‘That’s all I’ve wanted to do here. Seek the truth. Help Alexa.’ Filling my lungs, I squeeze my husband’s hand. ‘I’m going to ask something big of you, but if you understand me half as much as you’ve said you do, then you’ll support me on this.’
‘What is it?’
‘I need you to be okay with me going to see Otis today.’
Kamal’s eyebrows rise, but I continue before he can say anything.
‘Otis will be feeling vulnerable now. Hurting. You’ve seen the article, Kamal. We both know what people are saying. I want to check that he’s okay. And, honestly, if there’s going to be a time when Otis might be fully honest about his marriage, this is it. I need to see him.’
‘You don’t need my permission to do that,’ Kamal says.
‘I don’t want your permission. I want your blessing.’
After a moment’s hesitation, Kamal tucks me under his arm and presses a kiss to my hairline. ‘One of the things I most love about you is how relentlessly you care. Listening to you talk about Alexa last night made me realise how my worry has clouded the way I’ve seen things recently. If you think helping her is how you need to spend your time, who am I to say otherwise? You are more than capable of looking after yourself. So if you can’t rest until you find Alexa Clarke, then don’t. I’ll be here whenever you’re ready to call it a day and come home.’
Burrowing into Kamal, I fill my lungs with his scent. ‘What did I do to deserve you?’
‘Funny, I ask myself that every day. Now come on, let’s get dressed and go downstairs. We need breakfast.’ Kamal hops out of bed and stretches his hand out to me. For the first time in a long time, I take it with no ulterior motive.
Beth’s nursing a mug of coffee at the table when we enter the kitchen. She holds her hand up when she sees us. ‘Don’t be loud. I’m too fragile to take it.’
‘You only had two glasses of wine,’ I cry.
‘Two too many. I lost all my tolerance after giving birth. One whiff of alcohol and I’ve a hangover these days.’
Laughing, I join my sister at the table while Kamal cooks up a feast. We eat and swap stories, the lighthearted bantering lifting the darkness of the last few days. But when the final scrap of food is eaten, I turn to my husband.
‘I’d better go to Otis,’ I say.
‘Otis Clarke?’ Beth’s eyes widen, bigger than the now empty plate in front of her. ‘Is it wise to see him again? He’s all over the internet, marked as a killer.’