The sight of my house has never been more welcome, but as I draw nearer, I notice something odd. There are two cars in the driveway.
One belongs to Kamal.
The other belongs to my sister.
The questions surrounding her unexpected appearance are screaming at me by the time I pull into the driveway. I take a second to build my courage before leaving my car. When I do, my legs are trembling even more than they were when I nearly hit Bernie.
I find Kamal and Beth in the living room, standing sombre and silent.
‘What are you doing here?’ I ask, dropping my handbag on the sofa.
‘I’m asking the questions here, Janine, not you,’ Beth snaps. ‘Namely, where the hell have you been?’ Kamal dips his head at my sister’s icy tone, but he doesn’t tell her to be nicer.
‘Jesus, Beth. There’s no need to bite my head off.’
‘You’d know all about biting people’s heads off, wouldn’t you?’
Ignoring her, I turn to my husband. ‘Shouldn’t you be working?’
‘Shouldn’t you be, too? Or in all your obsessing over Alexa Clarke have you forgotten you have a job?’ Beth cuts in frostily.
I step backwards at my sister’s hostility. ‘Why are you so angry with me?’
‘Angry? Janine, I’m way past angry. I’m furious. When are you going to stop playing with people’s emotions? When are you going to stop acting like how they feel doesn’t matter?’
‘What are you talking about?’
‘Look around you, Janine. Everyone is sick with worry. Mum can barely speak about you without crying. When’s the last time youcalled her? Called any of us, for that matter. No, the only time we hear from you is when everything’s falling apart.’
My body clenches, wounded. ‘That’s not fair.’
‘None of this is fair, Janine. Most of all on everyone around you. I mean, have you noticed that I’ve had to leave my children, again, to run to your aid? Have you noticed anyone else’s struggles, or are you still ignoring what’s staring you in the face?’
Squaring my shoulders, I hold Beth’s gaze and refuse to acknowledge what she is saying. I’d have thought my petulance would increase my sister’s anger, but the crack in her voice when she next speaks tells me it did the opposite.
‘You know how much we love you, so why do you treat us with such contempt? It’s as if we’re your enemies, not the people who care for you most. I know we can’t begin to understand how you feel, but we want to be here for you. Please, let us. Stop shutting us out.’
As her words do their best to chip at me, I shield myself from the attack. ‘I don’t shut you out.’
Beth sighs. ‘If you can’t admit doing it when you dodge my calls and refuse to meet, at least acknowledge doing it to Kamal. You practically ran out of here earlier, using me as your sordid little alibi. No one had any idea where you were, yet again.’
I glance at my husband, so compressed by worry he can barely lift his head. ‘I told you I was going out.’
‘Yes, with me, which was a lie,’ Beth snaps. ‘You didn’t say where you were going or what you were doing. You just left, hours after the police came to visit. Was Kamal meant to be reassured that all was well? He called me, panicked that you’d disappeared for another wander until three a.m.’
Shamefaced, I lower my gaze, but Beth isn’t done with me yet.
‘Once again, I left my children with our mother to help look for you. We thought you’d been in an accident. We drove all around Bramblethorpe. We even stopped for a chat with your new friend Otis.’
My stomach drops. ‘You saw Otis today?’
‘Yes, but he hadn’t seen you. No one had. And better still, you thought it was a good idea to not pick up your phone.’
‘I didn’t get any missed calls,’ I argue, but then I remember putting my phone on Do Not Disturb in Café Marco. Cringing, I pull my phone from my bag and change the setting. Straightaway, the screen fills with missed calls and voicemails, some from Sonya, but most from Kamal and Beth.
I go to apologise, but Beth continues before I can.
‘Twice in two days you’ve told Kamal you’ve been with me when you haven’t. Twice you’ve asked me to lie for you, and now you’re home, acting shocked that we’re worried, so guess what? After months of living with the constant dread that I’m going to get a phone call saying something terrible has happened, I’ve finally had enough.’