Hearing Otis scream into the abyss and knowing there is little chance that a response will come to him breaks my heart. I search for something to say before he tears his vocal cords.
‘Tell me about this field,’ I call, pushing grass aside to catch up to him. ‘If she went this way, knowing more about the area might give us an idea of where she could have gone from here.’
Otis gulps then studies his surroundings once more. ‘There’s not much to say. These fields don’t lead anywhere other than to more woodland.’
‘How do you know that?’
‘We walked them all the time when we first moved here. We’d do a loop around the fields then go back to the house. A few times we even…’ Otis looks back at me, suddenly shy.
‘It’s okay, Otis. Two consenting adults having sex outdoors doesn’t make me blush.’
‘Perks of living in the country, eh?’ Otis quips, swallowing the memory. ‘I don’t think the fields mean anything to Lex, though, other than them being somewhere she likes to walk. I told you, she loves nature.’
Standing in the cold and damp, it’s hard to see why anyone would love this place, but then I think of Alexa alone in her house all day, and the freedom of this open space seems more appealing than anything.
‘How did we get here, Janine?’ Otis whispers. ‘Lex goes out every day, yet I have no idea what she does or where she goes.’ I hang my head at his painful admission. ‘I thought I was doing the right thing by leaving her alone. It was… it was easier that way. Easier than arguing. Easier than seeing her in pain.’
So much is said around those words. So much regret, so much anger – all of which Otis aims at himself. I open my mouth to say something comforting, but Otis sets off again before I get the chance.
‘Lex!’ he hollers.
I use the lull in conversation to take in the scenery as far as my torchlight allows me to see. My pace slows as once again I note how isolated it is where Alexa and Otis live. Anything could happen here, but who would be there to witness it?
The question makes me shiver, but then I notice Otis striding further away, so far ahead I almost lose him in the fog.
‘Otis!’ I shout, scurrying after him. ‘Maybe we should go back to the house?’
If he can hear me, he pretends he can’t.
‘I said maybe we should go back?’
Suddenly, Otis stops and faces me. He looks utterly dejected.
I approach slowly, giving Otis the time he needs to feel his pain. Out here is probably the only time he will be able to do so. We both know that as soon as we go back to the house, Gabby will be on hand with forced brightness to stop him giving in to his hurt.
‘This is ridiculous,’ he says. ‘I’m trawling a field in the dark for clues about someone who might or might not have been here days ago. What am I hoping to find, a map telling me where Lex is? Unlikely, so what am I looking for? Grass? Mud? Litter?’
Otis breathes in a ragged breath and prepares himself to speak again, but something on the grass catches his eye. My heart pounds as Otis stares at whatever he has spotted, but then he scoffs.
‘A tennis ball. My wife is missing, and a tennis ball is all I can find.’
Otis bends to retrieve the ball, then spins on his heel and launches it through the air. The neon sphere soars across the field, swallowed by the fog before I can see where it lands.
‘Let’s hope I find Lex before that dog finds its missing ball,’ he mutters.
I continue my approach, slower than before but more concerned. When I reach Otis, I rest my hand on his forearm. ‘Come on. Let’s go back. We’ve seen enough.’
Otis doesn’t argue. He just trails alongside me, taking in fraught gulps of air as he walks away from the hope that somewhere in the grass, there’s a clue about where his wife is.
CHAPTER 18
Gabby opens the doors as soon as she sees us trudging through the garden.
‘They’re here,’ she calls.
Otis breaks into a run, reaching the house before I’m even halfway down the path. By the time I make it to the open doors, Gabby has wrapped a towel around his shoulders and steered him towards a sofa.
Two formally dressed strangers stand beside the dining table, silently observing the goings on in the room. I can tell by their expressions that they see what I see when I watch Otis and Gabby. The familiarity of their touch, the intimacy they share. But what strikes me most about the two new people I am faced with isn’t their curious observation but their commanding presence. When Otis called the police, I assumed uniformed officers would be sent to take preliminary statements, but the strangers in Otis’s house are most definitely not regular on-the-beat officers.