‘Exactly. A few months ago, Lex fell pregnant again. We really thought it was going to work out for us that time.’ Otis doesn’t need to say what happened. The gut-wrenching end of the story is ingrained into his every pore.
Pushing himself away from the door, Otis looks across the garden, scouring the scenery as if searching for something. His wife, his child, a reason why this is happening.
‘Okay, so external CCTV is drawing a blank,’ I say. ‘Are there cameras in the house?’
Otis blinks. ‘Are you asking if I spy on my wife?’
My cheeks burn. ‘That’s not what I meant.’
‘No, we don’t have them in the house,’ Otis replies, his tone more spiked than before. ‘Like I said, they’re only near points of entry. They’d have picked Lex up if she went down the driveway or to the garage, but she didn’t go near those places. Her car is still here, too.’
The unusualness of the situation prickles my skin. There’s no denying Otis is devastated. My gut sympathises with every word he says. If I were a betting woman, I would put money on him telling the truth. But a person doesn’t just vanish. And if Alexa is in as bad a way as he says she is, then simply waiting for her to come home isn’t enough.
‘Otis, I have to ask, why haven’t you gone to the police with this?’
Otis sighs. ‘Right now, I don’t know. The choice made sense a few days ago. After all, I’ve been in this position before. Lex taking off when things get too much isn’t unheard of. She once stayedaway for almost a week and didn’t contact me the entire time she was gone. What if that’s what’s going on here? What if she just needs space? She’ll be mortified if she comes back to a big fuss. She was livid when she found out I’d asked if anyone had seen her last time she left. It’s going to hurt her even more when she finds out that everyone in the village is talking about the babies.’
The thought of how I would react to everyone knowing about my struggles makes me wince. I can’t exactly blame Otis for not wanting to give the gossips of Bramblethorpe even more to talk about. But still, this is the third day where Otis has had no contact with his wife. He doesn’t know where she’s sleeping. What she’s eating. If she’s okay, hurt, or worse.
Fighting a shudder, I force myself to speak. ‘You said Alexa retreats when things get too much. What situations make her feel like that?’
I expect Otis to reply with a retort about me knowing what Alexa’s going through, but instead, he gulps. ‘Lex takes off like this whenever we… well, whenever we argue.’ Casting his gaze to the floor, Otis continues. ‘We had a row Saturday morning. That’s why I wasn’t surprised when I came home and Lex wasn’t here. I almost expected it. I let myself be angry all weekend, but when Monday rolled around and I’d cooled off, I… well, I realised how ridiculous I’d been. I thought I’d better check on her.’
There’s a layer of guilt to Otis’s words that I don’t have it in me to appease, because he’s right – he should have checked on Alexa. Tough times and personal frustrations or not, she is his wife, and she is not okay. Clearly.
‘What did you fight about?’ I ask.
‘Me thinking we should stop trying for a baby,’ Otis admits.
The words plough through me. The thought of Kamal comingto me and saying that… I can’t imagine my reaction. I try to keep my composure, but my face doesn’t lie.
Otis shrinks. ‘Lex looked at me like that, too, but you have to understand – I can’t stand seeing her like this anymore. It’s killing me.’
‘And that’s what you said to her on the morning she disappeared?’
‘That’s what I tried to say, but Lex shut me down. That’s why when I came home to an empty house, I left her to it. I didn’t even message around to see where she was until Monday.’
As Otis stews in regret, it’s hard not to draw parallels between him and Kamal. Kamal, who moved his entire life to the countryside because I said fields and clean air were what I needed. Kamal, who gives me all the space I need, even though the distance between us crucifies him.
‘I know how it sounds. A grieving woman alone all the time, married to a husband who doesn’t know where she is – how can they be happy? But I swear to you, Lex and I might be in a bad place, but we’ve never stopped loving each other. It’s the losses that are killing us, but we’ll get through it. We just need a fresh start.’
I wrestle my thoughts into submission, even though they warn me that Otis might be too close to the situation to face the truth. I’d never admit it out loud, but there have been many times when I’ve thought about leaving Kamal. Not because I don’t love him, but because walking away from our shared heartache seems easier than living with it.
Maybe Alexa Clarke felt the same. But how do I tell her husband that?
‘You said you thought Alexa might have gone to a friend’s house or to the B&B,’ I push. ‘Have you asked anyone if they’ve seen her?’
‘I have. Everyone’s said they haven’t heard from her, and she’s not checked into the B&B, either. Something I’m sure you, and the rest of Bramblethorpe, already know.’
My sheepish expression tells Otis the answer to that. ‘And I’m guessing you’ve tried asking Alexa yourself? Called her, texted her?’ I ask.
‘There’s no point.’ Otis opens a drawer in the kitchen and reaches inside for something. When he holds the object in the air, my eyebrows dart upwards.
‘Alexa left her phone?’
‘It’s not as suspicious as it sounds if you know Lex. She hates technology, especially social media. Thinks it’s ruining society. She often leaves her phone when she goes out. That’s why I didn’t panic when I found it.’
An icy wave rolls from my head to my toes at the strangeness of Otis’s explanation. ‘But leaving home with no phone and no car? And no one’s seen or heard from Alexa in days? It doesn’t make sense that you haven’t gone to the police yet.’