“I understand. I wouldn’t want to do without him now either. Is it hard enough that you don’t want to do it?”
“It’s just not fun anymore. Why do it, if it’s no fun?” Roper shrugged. “We’re not getting rich, right?”
“Agreed. It’s much too dangerous a sport to do for no good reason.” Mister Charlie glanced at him, then back at Roper. “Are you saying you’re retiring?”
“I don’t know what I’m saying. It’s Christmas. I’m not saying anything, right, Ry?”
“Totally.”
“Got it. You’re saying you need to put your feet up and sip your eggnog.” Mister Charlie nodded.
“Exactly. I want to not think and enjoy y’all.” Roper caught his gaze. “If I’d wanted to stress, I’d have stayed at the house, right?”
“You make a solid point. So, you haven’t been here at Christmastime, right? Ryder and I put together a little tour for you. Well, two actually. One is a daytime tour, and the other is at night.”
Ryder nodded, and he couldn’t stop grinning. “You’re going to love it. It’ll make you smile.”
“You know what I like, huh?” Roper winked at him, and Ryder felt a little like he was missing a joke.
Mister Charlie let it go and tucked him closer. “The eggnog is excellent, isn’t it?”
“Amazing. It’s one of my favorite parts of holiday food.” He was about as happy as he could be.
Mister Charlie reached for another cookie but stopped himself. “How are you feeling, Roper? Do you need a rest after your flight? Or are you ready to see the city?”
“I’d like to just have a nap, if you don’t mind. I want to go out tonight. I’ll buy y’all supper.”
“Of course. Please relax, have a nap. We want you to enjoy your vacation. Ryder and I are fond of naps.”
Ryder’s cheeks went red hot. “We…we so are.”
Naked naps. With orgasms.
Charles didn’t blush, he just smiled. “Ryder, why don’t you go help your brother settle in, show him where the towels are and such.”
“Of course, Sir.” He kissed Charles’s cheek. “Come on, Bubba. I’ll give you the nickel tour and let you breathe a little.”
Roper followed him, then grabbed him, holding him tight for a long minute. “Love you.”
“Ditto, cabbagehead.” Ryder hugged Roper until he backed away. “Good nap.”
“You know it.” Roper gave him a nod and a smile that didn’t seem as convincing as it should have been, then closed the guest room door quietly.
Ryder headed straight for Charles. He needed his lover. Right now.
He needed a hug; he needed direction. He needed Charles.
23
Charles didn’t want a nap, but Ryder had certainly needed his company, so they’d been sitting by the fireplace reading for a while. Or more accurately, he’d been reading, and Ryder had been holding a book in his lap and sighing every so often. Charles had tea now, because the eggnog was delicious but very rich, and he picked it up to sip it, glancing at his lover as he set it down.
“Something is on your mind?” He had a fairly good idea of what it was, but when it came to Roper, words never came easily to Ryder. His boy was always worried about telling secrets or hurting his twin’s feelings. “I’m right here.”
“He seems unhappy. It feels wrong to be so happy when he’s not. I have guilt.”
He was right; he did know what was going on. “The two of you look alike, finish each other’s sentences, but his path isn’t your path. You can be happy to see him, happy to have him here. You can make him happy he decided to come, but you can’t make him happy in life. He has to figure that out.”
“I know. I do, but—I want him to be happy.” Ryder held his hand.