“I am. I’m enjoying my tea. You seem eager to get us out of suitcases, and I’m not going to get in your way.”
“I lived my whole adult life in suitcases.” He grinned and sorted more laundry. “I like being home.”
“I love it when you call this house home. I love that you feel that way, that you feel comfortable saying so. It’s exactly what I want for us.”
“It’s an amazing place. I mean, home is you, but this is house-home.” He rolled his eyes at himself. God, he was a giant dipshit.
Charles smiled and sipped his tea. “We haven’t talked about the club the other night.”
“We haven’t. That was good whiskey. Amazing even.”
“It was excellent. I enjoyed sitting and watching everyone go by. How was your talk with Kacey?”
“It was a little wild, to be honest. Some of those guys were…fascinating.” And a little shocking, maybe, but nice. Everyone was nice.
“I’m sure. There was quite an array of styles and tastes. I had a good talk with River. About you.”
“Me? Why?” Had he screwed something up? He didn’t think so.
“Because I think it would be healthy for us to recognize our dynamic for what it is. I think you have certain needs, and I want to make sure I’m taking care of you as well as you take care of me. River confirmed what I was already thinking. He called you a service sub.” Mister Charlie was watching him carefully as he spoke, eyes focused on him. “How do you feel about that?”
“I—” It sort of sounded nasty. “I don’t know. Should I feel bad?”
“No. No, I wouldn’t be bringing this up if I thought it was a bad thing. I look at it as a way to understand yourself, and us, better.” Mister Charlie stood and walked slowly in his direction. “Let me suggest something. I have plenty of money; I can afford to pay someone to do all of the things you do for me and then we could just be together and spend our days any way we like. What would you think of that? Letting someone else take care of us?”
He shook his head immediately. “No one can do it as well as I do. I care about you, your comfort, your ease. For someone else, it’s just a job.”
Even when it was his job, he’d taken great care.
“I agree. I don’t want anyone else. But what do you get out of that? You’re not getting paid, and you’re not being taken care of in the same way. Why do it?”
“You care for me in a thousand ways, but I do it because I care about you. Because I need to make life easier for you.” It made him happy.
Mister Charlie smiled at him gently. “Youneedto. I understand that about you. That need isn’t about me, it’s about you. It’s how you define yourself. That’s what River meant. You do what you do because you care about me, but you need that for yourself. It’s your service, your gift, your submission to me.”
He wasn’t sure he understood, but he wasn’t sure he didn’t. “But it’s for you. It wouldn’t be right if it was just anyone.”
“Yes. Because we’re a couple. But if you were on your own, the need would still be there, don’t you think?”
“To have someone to take care of, you mean?” Ryder nodded, because that absolutely made sense. “Yes, Sir.”
“Yes.” Charles cupped his chin. “Are you starting to see what I’m saying? That’s who you are. You’re a service sub. You have a deeply ingrained need to take care of someone. And I am not only happy to be that someone, but I want to make sure that you are happy and have what you need.”
“I am happy. I love you. We’re together.” He leaned into Charles’s touch. “We’re home.”
“Mm. That’s good enough for me. But if you think about it, and labels start to matter to you, I’m fine with that. I just wanted you to know that I see you. I understand you.” Charles bent for a kiss. “And I love you.”
“I love you too.” And that was more than enough. More than.
“I’ll let you finish.” Mister Charlie smiled at him, then went back to his seat and his tea.
“I pulled out stew meat. I’m thinking beef and mushroom soup.” He was craving a little bit. He liked to serve it over mashed potatoes sometimes.
“That sounds delicious. We can settle into the den and have a fire. My calendar is open, isn’t it?”
“Yes, Sir. For a few days, actually.” He winked.
“Oh, you’re a wise cowboy.” Mister Charlie grinned at him over his tea.