“When I asked if we could talk, I hadn’t immediately assumed you’d suggest we come here, but I suppose it fits with my line of thinking. Will Kacey keep Ryder entertained for a bit?” What he needed to know wasn’t going to be a quick discussion.
“Yes. He understands that you and I needed to talk. He’s going to stop by and ask if it’s okay to show Ryder the sub’s lounge.”
“Perfect, thank you. What are you drinking? Can I get you another?” He needed an ice breaker.
“I’ll take a Coke this time, I think. I like to keep scene nights slow.”
He hopped up and went to the bar, returning quickly with a Coke for River and a whiskey for himself. He only wanted to sip it, but that first taste burned just right and gave him the courageto start talking. “I think Ryder needs…a very specific kind of care.”
“I believe every sub needs a specific type of care, but, please, let me know what you mean.”
Charles set his glass down and leaned forward. “When I hired him, he was sort of a personal assistant mixed with some light housekeeping duties. We’ve evolved beyond that formal relationship, and now he no longer works for me, but his duties haven’t changed at all. He wants to continue to…take care of me. It’s very important to him. Very…personal.” He sighed. He wasn’t sure he was doing a very good job of explaining it all.
“So he’s a service sub. That’s lovely. Are you getting what you need from that arrangement?”
A service sub. Interesting. “Surprisingly, yes. I hadn’t thought of myself as someone who—someone whoneededanything. But everything about Ryder sets my soul at ease.”
“Then it’s amazing you found one another without trying. I love that for you.” River beamed at him.
It was amazing. Baffling, in a way, as well. “I worry that I don’t know how to take care of him in return.”
“That means you’re going to make him happy, I think. Seriously though, you need to watch and make sure he’s not getting burn-out. That you make sure he is letting you know his needs. Communication, communication, communication.”
He snorted. “Have you ever met a cowboy? I’ve learned that communication is…challenging.”
“Well, no one said this was going to be perfect, right?” River winked at him.
“No, I suppose not.” He sighed. “Although Ryder is a perfectionist.”
“That’s tough. You’re going to have to watch for self-flagellation. Beating himself up isn’t his job, right? You get to decide if he’s pleasing you.”
He raised an eyebrow. That was interesting. He hadn’t thought about it that way. “That makes perfect sense. But I don’t want to beat him up either.”
River’s chuckle was low and husky. “No, but you can be the man to say ‘Stop beating yourself up’ or ‘No, we are going to sit and relax.’ Does that make sense?”
He could manage that, assuming he understood what was happening. “And that will be enough for him?”
“You’ll have to talk to him about that. Can you gauge his happiness, his satisfaction very well?”
“I think I’m learning. He’s not what I’d call an open book, but we’re close now. Intimate. I think I can tell when he’s not himself.” Fortunately, Ryder was fundamentally happy. All things being equal, his cowboy was usually in a good mood.
“Then trust your gut. Tell him what you need, let him give it to you, and let his service mean something to you.” River sipped his drink. “It’s a give and take.”
“You make it sound easy. Of course you’ve had a fair amount of experience. I have one big question. How do I know if he wants to define himself as a sub? And if he does, what does that mean for me exactly? Does it need to be clearly defined?”
“It’s something to discuss, for sure. Snuggle up together, turn down the lights, and have a nice, long discussion.”
He’d assumed the long discussion was going to be with River. He’d hoped for the hard-earned wisdom of someone who had been in the lifestyle a while, who would give him a window into how this all works. Snuggle up and talk wasn’t that. He wasn’t disappointed, or worried, he just realized something he hadn’t before.
“I’ve been thinking about this all wrong.”
“This is utterly unique between the two of you. Whatever life you build together, it’s yours. Your rules.”
He nodded. “Which makes complete sense, of course. I don’t know why I was thinking we had to fit in somehow.”
“It’s human nature, isn’t it?”
He squinted at River. “You’re much too good at this. Thank you for the advice.”