“Anniversary.” Beck glanced over at him. “We missed our eighth. You were stuck in a hospital in Baltimore.”
“Works for me. We’ll celebrate it now, then.” Sky booked the table and handed the phone over to him. “It was a great wedding night, wasn’t it?”
The wedding itself was two men and the JP, but the wedding night had been one for the books.
“That night I will never forget. And it may not be as wild a memory, but I remember you on one knee with our rings in that little box, trying to hold my hand and balance your hat on your thigh. I was so surprised, and you were so hot, all proud as a peacock.” Beck was smiling hard, exactly like he had that afternoon. “Man. I thought I was going to explode, I was so happy.”
“You regret it now? I mean, saying ‘yes’ back then. I don’t, by the way, barring that I make you unhappy. That part sucks.” Beck never made him unhappy.
“No.” That was clear and definite, but Beck didn’t stop there, pulling the car off onto the shoulder and parking to look at him. “No, I don’t, that whole day was the best day of my life. I’ve done plenty to fuck us up, Sky. I think we were young, I think we could have made some better decisions over the years, but I think we need to forgive each other and figure out who we are now. I want to talk about plans and the future. Hot tubs and sailing. Travel. Dogs. The house.”
Beck blinked at him, his lover’s face lit dimly by the dashboard. “Whoa. Sorry, but…also not.”
“I’m not sorry.” He held Beck’s gaze, even though he wanted to look again. “I didn’t think I had a future.”
“I’m grateful you’re here. Mine was looking pretty lonely.” Beck tangled their fingers, eyes still holding his. “I regretted telling you not to come back as soon as you left. I should have called, come to see you, fixed this, and I didn’t. And then it went on so long that I couldn’t.”
Beck took a deep breath. “It was easier to for me to worry you didn’t want me than to know it was true.”
“You’re mine. How could I not want you?” Sky shook like leaf, not because he was nervous, but because all these emotions were bashing against him. “I was mad as hell, telling myself that you didn’t trust me. I should have come home and asked you what the fuck was up.”
“I knew something was up with Parker. I had no idea it was about me, not you. That’s nuts.” His husband was anxious. Beck’s fingers fidgeted in his, moving constantly, changing their grip, squeezing and letting go.
He brought one of Beck’s hands up to his mouth and kissed it. “It doesn’t matter. What matters is that I won’t cheat on you, babe. No matter what. And I want a future. I haven’t figured shit out. I haven’t, but I want a…you really want a dog? Walter loves dogs.”
“Yeah? I do. I lost my old girl about a month ago, she was a stray I took in when I got the house. I knew I wouldn’t have her long, but she was a good friend. I’d love to have another.”
He leaned into Beck’s fingers where they cupped his cheek.
“You don’t have to have anything figured out. We’re fine. I have savings, you have savings. We can figure things out together. I promise you a future, Sky. A real one, together. You’re capable of anything you want, you’re so much smarter than you give yourself credit for. I have faith in you.”
“You’re the only one that’s ever thought so.”
“Nobody ever saw past the buckles like I did. They all missed the best parts of you.”
Suddenly he couldn’t breathe, so he held on to Beck. What else could he do? But Beck’s kiss gave him air, the connection as strong and solid as ever.
He’d be damned, they might survive this weekend in one piece.
17
He’d done it. He’d spoken up and started a conversation instead of an argument. Beck was feeling good. They’d gotten past the apologies and forgiveness and now they were on Church Street, wandering, holding hands and enjoying the evening air while they waited for their reservation time.
This was fucking amazing. Sky was glowing next to him, the canopy of lights making Sky’s eyes sparkle, turning him on with every smile.
Every so often Sky would touch his wedding ring, stroking his finger, making electricity shoot up his arm. He’d put the ring in his pocket before he left for Baltimore, but it had taken him a while to feel right about putting it back on. It hadn’t left his finger since they got back to Vermont, though, when it started to feel like there was hope.
“The restaurant’s up here. It’s almost time.” This was something he and Sky hadn’t been able to do much. Hold hands in public. He was lucky to have moved somewhere so liberal and welcoming.
“Have you decided what wine you’re going to torture me with, babe?” Sky bumped his shoulder into Beck’s arm.
“Chianti. If you can handle it.” A glass of wine would do him some good after this emotional day. It was a shame Sky couldn’t join him. “If not, I’ll have a Coke.”
“You’re not going to let me have one glass?” Oh, that puppy dog look.
“Sky…Kevin’s already going to beat me over your hip.” But maybe it wasn’t that big a deal? What was the worst that could happen?
“I had my pill at what? Nine? That was ten hours ago, and I’m not driving.” Sky squeezed his fingers. “But if you think it’s a bad move, I won’t be a bitch about it, promise.”