“No?” He let himself lean, and this was heaven—Beck and the massage head.
Beck wrapped hands around Sky’s back and worked the muscles with his thumbs. “Sore?”
“More tender. Good work.” He wasn’t going to lose this, dammit. He wasn’t.
“I feel great. You and I are…” Beck shrugged and seemed to be searching for words. “Good.”
“Fuck, baby, we’re kerosene and matches, and I can’t wait to do it again.” He figured he’d put that out there, start the revving-up process.
“You promised me food first.” But Beck slid those hands over and got a good grip on his ass, so which kind of hungry was his hubby really?
“Mmhmm. I’ll feed you anything you want.” He had to laugh. Had to. Suddenly he felt twenty years old again.
“Oh. I’ll take you up on that offer. You have to ask nicely, though. As in not nicely.” Beck ducked under his chin and drew a hot tongue over his throat.
“Damn, baby. You know you’re fine as frog hair on your knees.” He nuzzled in, swallowing hard as Beck lit him up. The son of a bitch knew how that riled him up. “You rode me last night like you were born to it.”
“You make me crazy. All the time.” Beck hovered over his lips, warm breath mixing with his own. “Every time.”
“It ain’t let up one bit, either. Need you. Still.” He pushed up, bringing their lips together, letting that burn fill him up.
Beck pressed him against the shower wall, the kiss slow but deep, their tongues doing that little dance, gliding together and twisting. He cried out, the simple fact that this was real and not a dream slamming up against him like the horn of a bull.
The water pounded down on both of them, steam filling the shower. There was no seeing through the glass anymore. Beck pulled away a hair, just enough to breathe. “What do I have to do so you’ll stay this time? I’ll do anything. Tell me.”
“What?” He didn’t want to do this. Not now. Not naked and standing in the shower and aching. They had things to say—both of them—but he was flying here.
“Nothing. Sorry. Nothing.” Beck kissed him again, hands sliding down his sides.
Dammit. Dammit.
He tried to push into the kiss and let Beck soothe him. He didn’t want to leave Beck. He’d get himself a job, figure shit out. He would.
Beck’s mouth slid off his and over his chin, down his neck, and settled on a collarbone. A moment later Beck sank to his knees and nuzzled right into his groin.
He looked down and stroked Beck’s forehead. “You want this, right? Me, I mean? Right now?”
Beck froze, and Sky watched his lover’s shoulders sag heavily. A breath later, Beck rocked back and stood. “You’ve never asked me that before, you know. You’ve never doubted.”
All the good feelings and excitement left him feeling old and broken, with the sinking knowledge that he couldn’t even step out of the tub without taking his sweet time. “Doubt what? You seemed…stressed.”
Beck’s head tilted slightly. “Did you think I would drop to my knees in the shower if I didn’t want you?”
“I know you want me.”Dipshit.“But you’re all tense. And don’t tell me you’re not. Love on me because I’m the hottest thing on earth or because you ache for me, not because you’re scared I’m fixin’ to leave.”
Beck searched his eyes, the speckles in the light brown even more pronounced in the bright bathroom light, and laughed a little bitterly. “You don’t get it, Sky. You are the hottest thing on earth. But I have always worried about when you were leaving again. Always.”
“Until the day you told me not to, I always came home to you. I had to make a living.” He stood strong, refusing to let the hurt—heart or body—show. “I wasn’t running off.”
“You made more money than I’ll make in ten years, but I’m not—” Beck stopped, shook his head. “Sorry. I don’t want to fight. I’m sorry. I love you.” Beck opened the shower door, grabbed a towel, and closed it behind him.
“I love you too.” He held himself up by pure ornery will alone. “And I had to. Don’t you get it? I had ten, maybe twelve years to do the one fucking thing I know how to do. I don’t know how much money it’ll take to support us forever. I lived on the cheap and rode and rode and put money in the bank for when I was nobody and worked at the Walmart.”
“You were never going to be nobody, love. You’re my husband.” Beck’s hand looked weirdly alien where it pressed against the shower door. “I can’t say I wasn’t proud of you—am. Iamproud of you. Or that I didn’t like that celebrity status you had going on. I did. But at a certain point…well, I was home and you weren’t.”
“And it was better for me to never come back?” He was fixin’ to fall apart in more ways than one. “Go on, honey. Get you some coffee and decide where you want to eat.”
Please. Go, so I can lay down here and cry because for a second there, I forgot to remember we’re broke.