Once he got Sky settled, Beckett slid out of his own jeans and added his clothing to the pile with Sky’s. Neither of them had ever been the least bit body shy, but this still felt taboo, like they were breaking rules and might get caught.
He climbed up next to his naked husband, eyes roaming over Sky’s muscled but too-thin torso.
Sky rolled onto his good side, curling into him, fitting into his body for the first time in years. Sky took a couple of hitching breaths, and then tears began to slide down his lover’s cheeks.
He tucked an arm over Sky and held on, sharing the warmth and swallowing hard against the deep ache in his chest. He could so easily lose it too, but he wouldn’t now for the world. Sky needed him strong, needed him to keep it together. “Let it out, Sky. I’m here. You’re home.”
Sky nodded and snuggled in, hiding in him. One hand was open over his heart, and the sobs came and went like a storm, leaving him with a wrung-out, stoned cowboy.
His cowboy was head-to-toe warm, bare skin and smelled so good—wild and musky like he remembered. Everything about the way that Sky pressed against him was familiar and satisfying, their embrace pure joy and devastating agony all at once. Beckett breathed through the raw, conflicting emotions as Sky drifted off, letting his husband’s presence be enough to hold back his own tears, letting their warmth soothe him until he could also close his eyes.
12
Sky woke up stiff, sore, and not sure where he was.
It was dark and quiet, and he told himself to breathe. Focus. He’d woken up alone and aching a hell of a lot, he just needed to figure out…
Someone breathed next to him, and his eyes went wide.
“Beck.” The name sounded so loud in his ears, but it was only a whisper.God.It was Beck.
He reached out, his hand finding the smooth skin of Beck’s back, and the breath huffed out of him. He was losing his mind, crazy as a bedbug—here in Beck’s house, here without a purpose, here with a husband he hadn’t so much as spoken to in four years. He couldn’t grab any one of those goddamn ideas and deal with it. Every time he tried, he ended up falling down the rabbit hole.
As soon as he moved, the purring started and Walter walked up from the foot of the bed and perched on his pillow, the purring growing even louder as Walter rubbed all over his head.
“Oh, buddy.” He grabbed Walter and started loving on him, pushing in and giving scritches. “I missed you. I heard you had to hang with Parker. Did you bite him for me?”
Walter trilled at him and he took that as a “yes.”
“Mm.” Beck rolled over, and a warm hand slid slowly across his belly. “Bet it’s his dinnertime. He’s been sleeping by the wood stove mostly at night, but when he’s hungry he lets me know.”
“He’s not used to it being this chilly in the summertime.” God, he wanted to say so much, but everything led to other things, some of which he didn’t want to think about. Like why not just pick up the phone and call? After that last fight, he could have made it up, he could have fixed it, but he didn’t.
“Summer nights are one of the best things about living up here.” Beck scooped Walter up under the tummy and sat the cat back up on his pillow. “Of course, I haven’t run the stove in a couple of weeks, so maybe he’s been sleeping up here and I didn’t know it. Did you get some rest? Are you getting hungry too?”
“I did, yeah.” He’d crashed and burned like a crashing, burning thing. Lord help him. “It felt good to sleep in a real bed.”
“Those meds knocked you out. I wasn’t sure whether the sleep would be restful or just…you know. Deep.” Beck was drawing circles on his chest and abs, tracing lines with light pressure.
“It was like falling into a hole. Deep and easy.” He watched Beck’s fingers on his skin, the sight and feelings a millisecond off from each other.
“Good. I slept some too. It was good to hold you. It felt honest.” Honest was something they needed to do some work on, he guessed. “I’ve missed you.”
Then why didn’t you call? Why didn’t I call, because I missed the hell out of you?“I hear you.”
Beck rolled away and got out of bed. “So, I’ll make dinner while you do your PT? The sheet with your instructions on it that Kevin gave us is downstairs with your meds and everything. I was going to throw a couple of little steaks on the grill, they won’t take long.” His jeans landed on the bed next to him as Beck got dressed.
“Okay. Go ahead. I’ll be down in a bit.” It had taken him damn near an hour to get dressed this morning, and he still had to find the bathroom. He was going to make it, though. He was going to heal and make himself useful, soon.
“Like hell. Sit up.” Beck held offered him a hand.
“Huh?” He rolled up, taking Beck’s hand without a second’s hesitation.
Beck handed him his shirt and started helping him dress. “I’m not leaving you up here alone. You can’t come down the stairs without me anyway.”
“I…I wasn’t going to come down on my own.” He needed to get some sweats. That would feel so good on his legs.
“Good. All your stuff—your clothes and everything—it’s all in your room down there. You want me to get it?”