Anger at John for dying.
Because that was what happened. We’d enjoyed the day to ourselves. Gotten lost in each other’s company while John had died alone in his bed.
John was dead.
I ducked beneath Duke’s arm, but was quickly caught around the waist. He pulled me into him, murmuring apologies I didn’t want into my ear. I fought him, kicking the air and punching his arm to no avail. I screamed, but had no idea what was coming out of my mouth.
Nothing made sense, and yet I knew what was waiting for me in that house. Nothing.
Duke said something to the nurse, who hurried past us and out of the house. I kept fighting against his hold, but he kept me held tight to his chest as I let out a scream. The tears had already begun, and everything was spinning rapidly around me. I couldn’t catch my breath, couldn’t do anything other than thrash and scream in Duke’s arms as a police siren sounded behind us.
“I’m sorry, honey. I’m so sorry,” Duke whispered in my ear. Suddenly, the one place in the world I felt safe was crumbling around me. I was scrambling to regain any semblance of controland failing. He rocked me back and forth, rubbing circles along my back. I’m sure he meant for it to be comforting, but it wasn’t his comfort I longed for. It wasn’t his voice and words I desperately wanted—no, needed—to hear.
But I’d never get the chance. Not in this lifetime.
DUKE
It’d beenthree days since John’s passing.
His death still didn’t feel real. I woke up every morning, praying that our new reality was a bad dream, but I was left disappointed instead.
When I’d walked into his house that day, it had been quiet. Too quiet. The kind that immediately puts your senses on full alert. My body could sense something was wrong before I ever laid eyes on him.
His nurse was kneeling at his bedside, a prayer of mercy and comfort on her lips as she looked up to see me standing in the doorway. I braced myself on the wall, hoping he was just sleeping. How could he be gone when we were talking only hours before? This couldn’t be right.
The heart monitor wasn’t making a sound, but I saw the static line. He was gone.
My mind immediately drifted to Olivia and Lukas outside. They believed they were living in a world in which John Hart was still alive, and I had to be the one to tell them otherwise.
It wasn’t fair for them or me. It wasn’t fair that he was takenbefore he said goodbye. Everything he said to me—the things he wanted to tell Olivia earlier—he’d never get the chance.
I’d never forget the look on Olivia’s face or the way she screamed and clawed at my arm to let her go. I held her tightly until she calmed enough for me to safely hand her over to Lukas. When the transport van arrived, the nurse handled the arrangements, ensuring John’s body was safely transferred to the stretcher and taken out of the house discreetly. I wasn’t sure where Lukas had taken Olivia, but I knew they were still in the house.
I stayed with the girls while we waited for Grady and Cleo to take them home. I noticed the tear tracks on both of their faces when they stepped out of Cleo’s SUV. My heart ached for everyone, but I was hit hardest by Olivia’s haunted silence as Lukas escorted her out of the house. She didn’t speak to me. She wouldn’t even look at me.
It was like I wasn’t even there.
In the days that followed, Harper and I brought meals to Lukas’s house every night, staying late into the evening, shooting the shit with my friend and reminiscing about old memories. The only person absent was Olivia.
She refused any and all invites to dinner, forcing me to drop a separate plate off at her doorstep before I left. Thankfully, Charlie was staying with Grady and Cleo so Olivia could focus on the funeral preparations.
I didn’t pretend to know what she was going through. Not only had she lost her second father figure and idol, but also her boss and mentor. Luke had contacted the family lawyer and the Hartstrings board on the night John passed away, so everything that needed to be arranged could be taken care of. Despite the time he had prior to passing, John hadn’t planned any aspect of his funeral.
A task that Olivia had taken solely upon herself. Lukas and Ihad both asked if we could do anything to help. We begged for her to give us a task, no matter how menial, but she refused.
Rolling over in bed, I grabbed my phone and checked my messages. Nothing. Just like I expected. Despite knowing better, I had sent Olivia at least two texts a day to check in. She hadn’t responded yet, but that didn’t stop me from typing out another one.
Duke:
How are you?
As soon as I hit send, I cursed.How are you?What kind of stupid question was that? Her world had just been turned upside down. While I was trying to turn it around, I was clearly doing a piss poor job of doing so.
Quickly, I tried again.
Duke:
Sorry. That was stupid. I just meant that I was thinking about you.