Though he’d tried to put on a show for our sakes’, I could tell how much pain he was in. Seeing Charlie helped, I think. There was a glimmer of something in his eyes as we left. Unshed tears that would likely fall when he was alone. I hated the thought. Hated leaving him, but his eyes were growing heavy, and Charlie was pulling into herself, watching the man who’d been like a grandfather to her disappear before her eyes.
Before we left, I texted Grady and Cleo to ask if Charlie could come over for a few hours. I knew it was my weekend with her, knew I’d just gotten back in town, but I needed amoment to wrap my head around everything. My life felt like it was spinning out of control, and I desperately needed some space to spiral so I could eventually pick up the pieces of my new reality and piece them back together. Even though, eventually, there would be another piece of me missing.
The decision to show up at Frank’s wasn’t taken lightly, but Lukas had assured me that Duke didn’t work on Sundays. It was the one day a week that he dedicated solely to Harper. I hadn’t heard from him after we’d dropped off groceries, so I wasn’t sure if I’d overstepped. The last thing I wanted to do was suit up for another fight. My armor was broken and needed repair. I didn’t trust myself not to make a complete and total ass out of myself.
But apparently, the universe had it out for me, because he’d shown up after all. I’d wanted to die when he walked up to my table and asked if I was stalking him. Of course, that was what it seemed like. Accidentally assaulting someone in the grocery store and then buying and delivering their groceries probably wasn’t something a sane person would do.
He’d looked better than the last time I saw him. Still tired, but show me a parent who wasn’t, and I’d call them a liar. And with his wife apparently no longer in the picture, Duke was left to do it all on his own. Even though Grady and I were divorced, I’d never considered myself a single parent. I wasn’t doing it on my own. I couldn’t, in fact. Because of my job, I was forced to rely on others for support. If I didn’t have Grady and Cleo, I wasn’t sure what I would have done. Charlie would certainly suffer for it.
Who did Duke have save for the sweet bartender who also apparently filled the role of a nanny? His mom had a stroke a few years ago and was unable to care for herself. I remember Lukas telling me about how hard it’d been to find a good care facility with the space to take her. John fronted the money forher care to ensure Duke didn’t have to make concessions. His uncle, the former mayor, had recently moved to an oceanfront state to enjoy his retirement. And even though I wasn’t quite sure what the situation with his ex-wife was, she seemed to have completely removed herself from the picture.
By the time I’d left the bar, I had more questions than answers. I wanted to help him in whatever way I could. Not that he would accept it, especially not from me. He was too proud. It didn’t take a fucking rocket scientist to figure that out. If I couldn’t outright ask him, then I’d have to find other ways around it. Ways he couldn’t say no to.
I remembered what he said about Harper’s soccer games. How Charlie showed up to every one to support her best friend. Grady offered to take her this morning, but I told him I would do it. Honestly, I was thrilled to experience this dose of normalcy with my daughter. If I were home more, it could be a regular occurrence. Though I didn’t want to impede on Grady’s time with her, the prospect of stepping into a real routine with them had me jumping out of bed this morning.
Now, we were on our way to the game, rocking bright pink t-shirts with coffees and donuts in hand. Charlie was strapped in behind me, singing loudly to whatever song was playing on the radio. I sometimes saw so much of myself in her. She had a true talent for music. Always had, even as a toddler, dancing to the beat. The music producer and CEO in me was salivating at the potential she could have if she pursued a career in music, but the parent in me was nervous. I didn’t want her to feel the pressure of the media and fans like her father and I had.
When we pulled up to the park, I paused, watching all the kids run to the field as their parents strolled leisurely behind them, lawn chairs in hand. “What happened to the stands?” I asked, brow furrowing. I hadn’t thought about seating.
“They took them down last month. They’re supposed to beputting new ones in, they haven’t.” Charlie looked behind us at the empty trunk of my SUV. “I thought Dad told you about that.”
I sighed. If he had, I must’ve missed it. Honestly, I was too excited when I asked if I could take her, I might’ve blacked out entirely.Shit. “I’m sorry, sunshine.” How could I have already fucked up something so simple? Why wouldn’t I think to bring chairs as a precaution? I was severely out of practice.
“It’s okay, Mom. I like sitting in the grass by the team anyway.” She looked down at my cream joggers. “But you might want to stand so you don’t get stains on your butt.”
I laughed, unable to help myself. If grass stains were the price I had to pay, so be it. I’d gladly do it to see her smile.
“I’ll be fine. These are old anyway.” They most certainly were not. And they were expensive to boot, but they were just clothes. Clothes could be cleaned or replaced.
Time with my daughter could not.
Charlie smiled and opened the door. She took off at a dead run toward the team before I could utter a word. Like so many others, I let her go without too much worry. It wasn’t until I got closer to the parents that my nerves kicked in.
While I was used to being social for my job, I’d never really mastered small talk with other parents. Maybe that was why most of the information I gleaned was second-hand from Grady or Cleo. The majority of conversations I overheard in passing were about PTA meetings and school pick-up complaints, none of which I had experience in. I didn’t even know what the PTA did, so I couldn’t even begin to contribute.
Sticking to the outskirts of the crowd seemed like the safer bet. I didn’t want to feel judged for being so unprepared. I could still see Charlie sitting on the sidelines, chatting to girls I assumed were her friends. On instinct, I found myself scanning the kids for a pop of copper hair. Because Harper was who wewere here to support. It definitely had nothing to do with my sudden interest in her father.
That would be ridiculous.
I was just about to sit down when a hand, calloused and warm, caught my elbow. “You should probably pay more attention.”
I whipped around, finding Duke staring down at me. Gone was his unkempt beard, in its place was a goddamn mustache that’d make Burt Reynolds proud. The stubble around his jaw only added to the hotness somehow. Like he was unbothered or just rolled out of bed.
When I didn’t say anything, he glanced down at my feet. “You were about to sit in dog shit.”
“Oh,” I said, following his trail to where a relatively fresh pile was steaming on the ground. “I swear that wasn’t there 30 seconds ago.” I lied. I hadn’t looked at all. But admitting that felt wholly irresponsible, and I didn’t want him to think worse of me than he already did.
“Right,” he muttered, hand still lingering on my skin. It wasn’t until a whistle blew behind us that he quickly dropped it to his side. “I’m guessing you didn’t bring a chair.”
It wasn’t a question. It was a statement. Fact. Though he might have disarmed me at first, his accusation had my skin prickling.
“For your information, I happen to like sitting on the ground. I like the feel of grass beneath my fingers. It’s soothing.”
His expression almost seemed bored. “I don’t really give a shit. It’s okay to admit you forgot?—”
“I didn’t forget,” I interrupted.
“Yeah, okay. Sure.” Duke rolled his eyes. “Here. Take mine.” Before I could object, he roughly unfolded the chair between us. Both of us stared at it, unmoving.