“You were living in Florida at the time, old man.” I slap my hand on his shoulder.
He grumbles. “I’ll show you an old man.”
“After we graduated, she went back and forth on where she was going to go to college, and I planned on proposing to her that summer. But then she said she was going out of state and wanted to experience more than just Amity. I knew I had to let her.”
“Damn.”
“Yeah, I’m not just some immature little shit you know,” I joke.
“I know you’re not. But I know that’s what you want a lot of people to believe.”
I shrug. “I’ve never cared what people believe, that’s on them. I never felt like I needed to correct them.”
“And it made you almost lose Lily.”
My jaw clenches. “But I didn’t.”
“Just know if you fuck it up again, I have to be on her side.”
“Hey, wait, that’s not fair, you’ve known me longer.”
“No I haven’t, but it doesn’t matter. I love Sutton and she loves Lily. My alliance is with them,” he says it so easily.
I almost say I love Lily too but hold back because the first time I say those words again it has to be to her, not to my coworker. “Well, it’s good that I won’t fuck it up.”
“I know you won’t.”
We finish washing the truck and I go inside to lay down for little while. I can’t think about the day Lily left, how it felt to watch her drive away with the heaviness of the ring in my pocket. How I wanted to chase her down. How every day after we would talk and I came close to begging her to come back.
I forced distractions on myself. I think about every time I was with friends and a girl would be around me. I should’ve kept them at arm’s length. I’m mad at myself that I don’t know the day Lily saw me. It was the day that changed everything and I don’t even know what it was. I can’t remember much about the girl she saw me with. I don’t know what she was wearing, if her hair was up or down. I can’t picture her smile or what she smelled like.
But then I think about Lily the day everything changed with us that shifted from friends to more. I remember every single detail of that day. What she was wearing, her white sweater hung off her shoulder while her blonde hair was loose. She had side bangs that would fall into her eyes. Her jeans were tight on her legs down to the ankle boots she had on.
I remember exactly what happened like it was yesterday. We were with our respective group of friends and I suddenly heard her.
“Smash, easily.”
I shouldn’t eavesdrop, but I can’t help it with how loud she is. It’s amazing she’s able to stay quiet enough that we can sneak out of her house sometimes. I want to hear what they’re talking about, but I can’t hear the rest of her friends as easily.
That is until I hear my name, then I’m straining to hear what’s being said.
“Try again,” Lily says.
“Boo, you’re no fun,” Rachel complains.
“I’m going to head out, guys,” I tell my friends.
As I walk past Lily she leaves her own group, skipping to catch up to me, bumping her shoulder against me once she does. “What’s up?”
We walk outside together, and I ask on a soft laugh, “What were you doing?”
She shrugs.
“Why’d I hear my name?” I try.
She twists her mouth and doesn’t answer, even as we get to my truck and I give her a pointed look that has her rolling her eyes.
She throws her arms up before opening the passenger side door and climbing inside. I join her and refuse to start the truck until she answers.