“Oh, my girl.” He snapped his fingers at Finch, who spun into action; within seconds, Dorian’s squire held up three belts of varying leathers. “Do you think I never noticed how much you love smuggling a dagger?” Haskel asked.
I picked the lightest, thinnest belt and strapped it to my waist. Good. “I need light armor.”
“Someone’s taught you well.” Haskel rumbled in his throat as he examined the rack and picked up a dark leather jerkin, pants, and boots. “What do you think, boy?”
Finch nodded hard, hands clasped behind him and chest out. “They look very fine, ser.”
Haskel grunted and passed them to me. “Try these on in the tent.”
I accepted both and turned. There stood a dour Faun at the tent’s entrance. She barely allowed me to push past her, then she followed me into the interior.
“Whathappenedto you?”
I unclasped my cloak, let it fall in a heap. “A great deal, Faun. None of which I have time to explain now.”
“Why are you dressed that way? Where’s yourhair?”
I kicked my boots off and said nothing.
She circled me, studying me with those piercing eyes. “You’re different.” She drew in a sharp, almost accusatory gasp. “You did it. You actually fucking did it.”
She’d seen the dagger’s grip. I unsheathed it from my thigh belt, set it on the small table beside me. I sat on the stool and began pulling off my guard’s pants. “If you’ve got nothing to do but stare open-mouthed, I’d rather you stood outside.”
If I knew anything about my second-in-command, a line like that would wound her pride enough to send her out. Instead, she crouched in front of me.
“I was wrong.” Her voice was quieter. “Wrong about you.”
My hands stilled. I lifted my gaze to her. “On which count?”
“I thought you might be a better queen than Rhiannon. I never believed you were Carys’s heir.”
I dropped the pants on the ground. “Nor did I.”
“They’ll try to kill you out there. Kneeling’s out of the question.”
“The other queens don’t yet know I have it. Only Liora.”
“If Liora knows, they all know.”
“But—”
Shetsked. “Do you remember what I told you before your coronation? The thing all three queens agree on? The thing they fight for?”
My hands went still again. I did. Of course I did. “There’s no turning back.”
“No turning back.” Her voice was reverent, a rasp. “They will not allow men to rule. Just as well, they won’t allow one queen to rule forever. With that dagger?—”
“I’ll break the wheel,” I said. “I made a vow to a god.”
She scoffed. “While you hold the dagger of ice and spite, youarethe wheel.”
The enclosing feeling pressed faster, harder. I stood, pressed past her, and pulled my shirt over my head, facing away. “Leave me.”
Behind me, she said, “You named me your second. Listen to me, I beg you.”
I continued undressing. I didn’t speak.
“Forfeit your crown. Break the dagger. Bury it where no one will ever find it, and live out your life with Dorian.”