A door, Eury. A door.
How had Dorian known exactly what I needed? And would I have ever escaped without that?
“The child of dirt returns,” Caustrix said above me. “’Twas a most elucidating moment inside that dim little cage of bone.”
Anger surged in me, nauseating. How many times had I relived the same memory inside those flames, spiraled toward the same truth? I could have gone my whole life without cracking open that terrible nut, and I would have been fine.
But now I would never know for sure. I’d never fully believe.
“You are a motherfucker.” The words were a rasp from my dry-as-sand throat.
“Did she truly love you? Her little changeling.” Caustrix let out a thoughtful noise. “Alas, it’s impossible to know the heart of another creature.”
I thrust my foot under me and rose, brought my arms around my body in the chill of the cave. The dragon’s long black neck wove sinuously toward the ceiling. The eyes gleamed crystalline in the dwindling flames.
“I know what’s in your heart,” I said. “You long to escape. Even if it’s not inside your own body.”
“Curious. Do say more.”
“The options were the same—a moment inside my mind or a piece of my soul.” A guttering laugh broke out from the dragon, and I said, “Now you have both.”
The moment I’d opened my eyes inside those flames, I’d felt him in there. Swirling in my veins, curled in my head. He’d seen the deepest part of me, my greatest fears—hopes—dreams.
I didn’t know what our joining meant, or how long it lasted. Only that a piece of him would go with me, and a piece of me would stay with him… indefinitely.
The laugh ended with a snort, two circular plumes of smoke appearing. “Very good, my mud queen. When did you know?”
“We’re not stupid in the Dip, just poor. An offer that lopsided is as obvious as a piece of glass sold as a gem.”
More laughter. This dragon’s laugh was like sandpaper over wood. “Gods, you’re far more fun than Carys or thatveyreof yours. And you took the offer anyway.”
My fear had gone. Now that I was joined with Caustrix, I knew he would not kill me. Any future he had outside this cave depended on me leaving it.
“You gave me one choice. I want the dagger.” I shivered, but held my jaw steady. “I’m willing to take a piece of you with me.”
“Did you hear that,veyre?” Caustrix flicked his tail. “Next time you’re in bed with her, you’ll be fucking a dragon.”
Dorian said nothing. What was there to say?
Down at the creature’s feet, near its flicking tail, a small blue shimmer beckoned me. “Give me the tooth,” I said.
“If you want to wield it, you must approach. Walk toward death, you bitter little thing, and earn the blade.”
“Don’t, Eury,” Dorian said.
I had to. Nothing would ever be easy. Nothing ever given over. By now, I knew that truth.
I took one step on the icy stone, then another. The distance between me and the dragon seemed small, but that was a mirage. The closer I came, the larger it loomed. The black scales danced in the soft firelight, each one bigger than me. One curving claw was as long as my body. Everywhere smelled like burning shit until I forced myself only to breathe through my mouth. The enormous tail flicked, flicked.
All the while, the great frosty eyes watched.
Closer, closer, until the whole world around me was his long, spiny ridge sloping down toward the tail, his beating heart inside that great chest, his webbed wings tight against his sides. The blue shimmer called, waited.
I came to it, two paces from his hind leg. The five claws rose, lowered with atick-tick-tick-tick-tickthat made my hairs rise, my body freeze.
I was afraid. I had never not been afraid. It was impossible not to be afraid of a dragon.
“Sit if you like.” Caustrix’s whisper curled into my ears, almost inaudible. But I heard every word. “Hide your face. Cry. But then who would you be?”