“How do we know it will even work?”
“Because it will. But if it doesn’t, then no harm done. You get the strength of an alpha inside you. That sounds like a win to me,” Ambrose says.
I look from Ambrose to Kael, unsure if I should do this. I feel like leaving Ambrose’s pack is going to do the opposite of helping me to fall in love with him.
“I can help you get your wolf back. You’ll have full control again. I can undo the thing that destroyed us. Make it right. Please, give me a chance. Trust me,” he says.
The way he says it—his voice trembling, just slightly. The way that hint of desperation mirrors my own. It lands deep in my soul.
I need to control my wolf. Not just for my safety—but because without it, I’m incomplete.
I’ve felt it my entire life. The aching, gnawing feeling that I was always missing some essential piece of myself. Like I never quite fit anywhere, no matter how hard I tried.
And now…
He’s offering me a way to get my wolf back. A chance to reclaim the part of myself that I thought he’d control forever.
But I’m terrified. Terrified it won’t work. Terrified it will, and it won’t live up to the expectation that I’ve set around it. That I still won’t feel like a wolf shifter after everything. And worse, that I’ll never make a worthy alpha.
“Okay, I’ll do it.”
Chapter 17
Lumi
The last of the sunlight dips below the horizon. Just a little bit longer now until the sky turns pitch black and the moon rises high enough for Ambrose to undo the magic that binds me to the Moonlight pack.
I’m scared, even though I saw Emeric do this just a couple of days ago, it’s still nerve-racking. Brings up every memory of what I did to initiate into this pack. Brings up every time I hid who I truly was from them. Brings up my past with my own pack. One I’ll have to own for the rest of my life. Because there will be no more hiding. Everyone will know I’m from the pack that started the curses. And they will put even more responsibility on me to fix it. Or they’ll kill me like they did my father and the rest of my pack.
I’m not ready to face my past. Not ready to think about it. Not ready to grieve. I’ve avoided it to this point, but there will be no stopping it now. No avoiding it.
And I’m not even sure if it will work. Not sure if I’ll get my wolf back. Not sure if I can be an alpha. I’d be the first female alpha. Not one gaining powers because her mate is alpha, but because I claim the alpha spot on my own.
But I’m not sure. Not sure how becoming an alpha would work. Kael would make a better alpha than me.
“I wouldn’t,” Kael says from my side.
I frown at him. “You can read my mind now, too?”
He chuckles. “No, I just know you. You’re my best friend. I’ve known you my entire life. I know what’s going on in your head right now.”
I just stare out into the woods as the darkness begins to engulf us in Nyx’s backyard. The others have started to gather.
“It doesn’t matter if you become alpha or not. You’ll still get your wolf back. But I have no doubt that you should be alpha.”
“So you won’t be challenging me then?”
He looks into my eyes. “I’ll challenge you—because facing me and coming out victoriously, might be the only thing that ever convinces you you’re worthy of being alpha.”
“Good,” I say, because he’s right. I can’t just become alpha by default. I need him to challenge me.
Suddenly, the air shifts. I don’t have to turn my head to know that Nyx has arrived. I can feel it down to my bones.
“Don’t think about him,” Kael says.
“I have to. And he has to be here to help you uninitiate from the Bloodmoon pack.”
“You don’t have to watch. You can—”