Nyx hasn’t said a word. He has spoken to confirm or deny the allegations everyone is thinking about. He hasn’t defended himself. Hasn’t said why. He didn’t bring Amora here. But he also hasn’t stopped looking at me. He hasn’t stopped studying my every reaction, while his face is devoid of any clue as to what he’s thinking or feeling.
I’m desperate for a clue.Fuck me for severing our bond.
I push into Ambrose’s mind, hoping to find Nyx there. But once inside, Nyx is gone. He’s blocking Ambrose.
I growl. Now he decides to block his thoughts from Ambrose. He couldn’t spare me the pain last night of having to see every fucking detail.
But I don’t say that out loud. If I did, I know I’d have everyone here on my side. Every single one of them would rip out Nyx’s throat for what he did to me. Doesn’t matter if they have been friends their entire life. Doesn’t matter if they are his beta. His pack member. His best friend. I know what they’d do to him for me.
It’s not what I want, though.
It’s true.
He fucked her.
Made love to her.
And for once, I don’t think it was a suicidal mission. He didn’t do it because he knew we’d all kill him for hurting me. Hedid it because he deserves to feel love, to be happy, to get his own kind of happiness.
I can’t fault him for that.
It’s just…
I love him.
I still love him.
I’ll always love him.
Maybe that’s what he feels for Amora.
But what he did was like he reached into my chest and yanked out my heart, before stabbing it repeatedly every time he kissed her, told her he loved her, drove his cock inside her.
All of it replays before my very eyes.
But it doesn’t take my love away. I still love him. Still want him. I’m still desperate to save him above everything else.
How fucked up is that?
My love for Ambrose disappeared the second he tried to control any part of me, and despite what Nyx just did, my love for him hasn’t faltered, not even one tiny bit.
I can’t stay here. I can’t stand here watching him. I can’t…
The tears are forming. They’ll fall soon. I can’t let him see. I can’t let any of them see.
I hold my breath. Refusing to take in any more of the smell. Picking up my empty coffee cup solemnly and without another word, another clue on my face as to how I’m feeling, I turn and walk inside.
Only once I’m inside do I let the feeling overwhelm me. I want to die.
Chapter 14
Ambrose
I’m going to kill him.
“Leave,” I say to everyone in my alpha voice. I know not a single one of them belongs to my pack. But it doesn’t matter. My command rattles through them all the same; that’s how pissed off I am. Whether they leave because of the power of my command or because they realize I need to be alone with Nyx, it doesn’t matter. I’m suddenly alone with him.
We stare at each other across the field. Both of our minds are closed off, blocking each other entirely and leaving nothing but the tension stretching between us.