“I’m sorry for even asking you two to do this, but losing control is the worst part for me. There’s plenty I haven’t told either of you about my past. But being controlled, having any part of myself taken from me is…”I can’t finish my thought.
“I’ll do it,”Nyx says in Ambrose’s mind.
Ambrose snaps his head to Nyx, like he wants to murder him.
Nyx raises an eyebrow at Ambrose in a challenge.
He huffs, looking in my direction. “Of course, I’ll fuck you, Lumi. If that’s what you want, of course, I will. I just want to make sure you’ve thought this through. I don’t think it will make things better if Isolde forces us later. We should focus our energy on finding a way to stop that from happening. And you were just injured, I don’t want to hurt you.”
“You won’t. Neither of you will. I trust you both.”
The men exchange a glance like they think I’m crazy for saying that I trust either of them.
“I know what I’m asking. I’m asking you to fuck me when you have a vampire mate, someone you love.” I say to Nyx.
“And I’m asking you to fuck me for the first time since choosing you as my mate in a dirty cell while Nyx watches.” Nyx gives Ambrose a strange look, but I ignore it.
“It’s more than I should ask either of you. I know that. I hate that I’m even asking because I know both of you will say yes to please me, even if you don’t actually want to, which is the opposite of what I want. I want us to all have control over our own bodies and what we do with them.”
Both of their heads snap to me, like I’ve just personally insulted both of them simultaneously.
Their eyes cut to each other, and I hear a mumbled conversation in Ambrose’s head that they’ve blocked me out of before both of them stare at me intensely.
“Don’t for one fucking second think that we don’t want to fuck you. There’s a good chance I’m going to die because of the vampire curse, Isolde, or by some other means, and fucking you before that happens is all I want.”
“Same—getting to fuck my mate, the love of my life, is all I want. I don’t care about the circumstances. I don’t care if Nyx fucks you at the same time or if someone else is watching. Life is too short, I just want you to feel good, my queen.”
“How do you want us?” Nyx asks.
I blush, biting my bottom lip.
“Do you want us one at a time? One after the other?” Ambrose asks.
“Or do you want us to pleasure you at the same time?” Nyx asks.
“Gods, this was a stupid idea. I shouldn’t—”
Nyx catches my wrist before I can pull away. “You need control. You need to find a way out of the control you’ve lost time and time again. We all do. We need to be united. Reminded that the three of us are on the same team, no matter what happens now. This is how we do that.”
I lick my lips. “Who wants to go first?”
Chapter 36
Lumi
The men exchange another glance, and my heart races. I’m dressed in an oversized shirt now. Ambrose is fully clothed minus a rip in the bottom half of his shirt, and Nyx is now completely naked—like Isolde thinks he’s the only one so beneath the rest of us that he doesn’t even deserve clothes. She just sees him as an animal she can control.
Nyx turns his attention to me with a wicked gleam in his eyes. He scrapes that fang over his bottom lip in a tantalizing way. I guess they’ve decided he gets to go first.
I shift my full attention to him, trying not to think too much and just letting this happen. This is what I want. I want to enjoy this moment. It might be the last moments of pleasure I ever get in this world.
But then I spot Ambrose moving closer as well, out of the corner of my eye, his heat drawing me to him in equal measure.
“What are you doing?” I speak out loud, my voice hoarse and dry.
“Fucking you, love—together. We aren’t giving Isolde the satisfaction of figuring out which man fucks you better. We are taking control and making this all about your pleasure. Besides,there is no way we can watch you with the other while not touching you ourselves. Are you okay with that, love?”
Both of them.