The envelope with the paternity test results has been tucked away in my sock drawer for the past week. Katie knows it’s there; she’s never asked when or if I’m going to open it.
We leave for Barbados in a few days, and part of me feels like I need to know before I move on to this new chapter of my life. The other part of me is angry that I even requested the test in the first place and wants to throw the results away.
“Shall we start packing?” Katie’s voice interrupts my thoughts; she’s using a jovial tone meant to move us along, lighten the mood. It doesn’t work.
I shrug, not meeting her eye.
“What’s wrong, darling? Is it the results letter? Did you open it?”
“No,” I mumble. “I’m not sure I want to.”
“Maybe...” She hesitates. Her face blank, the way she looks when choosing what she wants to say carefully. “Maybe you don’t need to know. Maybe it doesn’t matter. Maybe she’s yours biologically, and opening that letter will eradicate all your fears. Or maybe she isn’t yours, and opening that letter will allow you to come to terms with the possibility that she isn’t. You’re a good man, whatever you decide to do.”
She walks over and takes my face between her fingers, stroking my cheeks softly as she kisses my forehead. With her, I feel safe.
“I love you,” she whispers before leaving, closing the door softly behind her.
I stare at the dresser; it’s willing me to open it. Before I can second-guess my decision, I pull out the drawer, remove the letter, and rip it open.
My eyes scan the paper in front of me, trying to absorb the information. My heart pounds at lightning speed; my hands shake. Tears spring to my eyes.
I collapse onto the bed in joyous relief.
She’s mine.
Chapter forty-five
Lance
June 2022
My foot sinks into the warm sand; it wraps around my toes as I sit with Hannah looking out to the ocean. The waves lap onto the beach, the sun reflecting pink on the horizon as it disappears.
Barbados is utter bliss.
The bay pulled straight from a movie set with technicolor clarity. Boats bob on the clear-blue water, and palm trees sway in the breeze. Life finally feels complete.
“Are you ready for tomorrow, Dad?” Hannah asks. I smile down at my beautiful daughter; she’s been so excited about this trip. “Ready to be stuck with the ball and chain?” She giggles at her joke.
I laugh. “Where on earth did you hear that?”
“YouTube,” she says.
“Why does that not surprise me?” I mutter. Hannah is forever on her tablet, watching crap. Make up tutorials, Gen Z slang,and random challenges that make no sense to any sane person. But in a strange way, she learns, adding to her knowledge and vocabulary day by day.
“Can I tell you something, Dad?”
“Anything. You can always tell me anything.”
“When you and Katie got together, I was scared. I thought she might steal you away from me.” Her focus drops to the sand, her toes making patterns as if she’s embarrassed. Her confession, some dark secret. “But now, I’m happy you’re with her. She’s wonderful. I love her too.”
I simply put my arm around my daughter’s shoulders. Nothing needs to be said. We continue to stare at the view in silence. Together.
No expense has been spared on this holiday. It’s the most important three weeks of all our lives so far. It’s only our little family of four here. No one else is attending our nuptials, just us. I’d been relieved when Katie agreed.
It may be selfish, but for both of us, it was important that it was just us. No expectations, no boundaries, nothing to navigate. Our sights could be firmly set on our wedding and our family’s future.
Luckily, Katie’s career has reignited, thanks to Celia. She released her first book in over a year only a few weeks ago, and sales surpassed expectations. Her fanbase hasn’t faded with her absence from the market.