She says nothing, but the relaxation on her face is enough. Everything lightens between us, when she accepts my help. It feels like an unexpected step forward.
On my return, I bring a glass of water and two painkillers, placing them on the side. “Have these. They will take the discomfort away and let you get some rest.”
Hannah gives me a shy smile; the first smile she has given me since I arrived in her home. Now, my home.
As soon as I moved in, Lance allowed me to put my stamp on the place. I added my floral candles and multi-colored cushions; he never complained once. It felt like home within days, something I never felt living with Brad. New York was never meant to be mine; I was just another item in his collection.
Here with Lance, I know he wants this place to be ours. The four of us.
“Thank you, Katie. I’m sorry I’ve been so nasty to you,” she mumbles beneath the bubbles. She keeps her eyes firmly screwed tight, unable to look at me, I think.
“It’s okay. I understand how scary change can be.”
“That doesn’t mean I should’ve been so nasty,” she repeats.
“We all say and do things we regret,” I tell her. She opens her eyes. “That doesn’t make us bad; it makes us human.”
Her lids close again. A few tears beading the edges. She contains a small sob.
“Let’s get you sorted and back to bed. We can start with a fresh slate tomorrow. How does that sound?” I suggest.
“I’d like that.” A soft smile spreads across her face. She opens her eyes again. Everything about her is soft. She’s only a little girl, unsure of her surroundings and everything happening within them.
I can’t imagine what she’s felt these past two years. Her family bounced from one life-changing event to another. I want to bring more stability into Hannah’s life, let her be a child as long as possible, because right now she acts like a young adult, and that she is not.
My heart lifts—she’s giving me a chance. Although I’ve acted confident around Lance, Hannah’s worried me. I know what girls can be like. They hold grudges. I was worried we wouldnever be able to move our relationship forward without having Hannah on our side.
Lance adores her, and I know he would do without me to keep her happy, no matter how much he says he wouldn’t. That’s what a father like him does: puts his children first.
David is easy to love and care for. He’s young enough if you show him love, he responds. I already feel I have an important role in his life. Amber, his mother, has been welcoming and speaks highly of Lance.
She and I have started to forge something resembling a friendship these past weeks. We connect on a level; I’m not sure what level, but we have a connection. Both of us were torn from our old lives and brought to Aviemore because of the same man, but for very different reasons.
We have a bond, albeit a strange one.
She’s a genuinely nice woman who took a few wrong turns, but she’s determined to create a meaningful world for herself and her son.
When I told her over coffee this morning that Lance and I had decided to give our relationship a chance, she was delighted, hugging me and saying Lance deserved to be with the woman he was clearly in love with. It was beyond heart warming.
“Are you done, sweetheart?” I prompt Hannah. Her eyes are tightly shut again; a soft snore coming from the bathtub. I’ve spent the past thirty minutes tidying and keeping myself busy doing nothing. I wanted to be near her if she needed me, but give her space. She doesn’t respond to my question.
“Are you ready to go to bed?” I ask louder.
“Yes, I’m exhausted,” she mumbles as she sits up.
Holding a towel high so she can step out of the tub and maintain her dignity, I wait as she places her wet feet on the bathmat, then wrap the towel around her. She cuddles into the soft fibers, the way a toddler does a teddybear.
“Your pajamas are on your bed, and I’ve left a sanitary towel with your underwear. Do you know how to attach it? Or would you like me to show you?”
She shakes her head. “No, it’s okay. We’ve done it at school. Why are you being so kind to me? I’ve been awful.”
I take her shoulders and look her in the eye. This is my chance to show her I’m sincere.
“Because I love your dad. He means the world to me,” I say honestly. “I want us to have a good relationship, Hannah. I want us to enjoy spending time together. I hope, in time, you and I will come to care about each other, too. You and your brother are the most important people in your dad’s life. That makes you important to me. I want us all to be happy together.”
My arms wrap around her; she feels so fragile. It’s easy to forget she’s a child when she’s spouting arguments across a room at you. But she’s vulnerable and looking for guidance. I see that now.
After I settle Hannah back in her room, I head to my own bed. The room is silent apart from the regular breathing of my beautiful man, sprawled across the bed like a starfish. I snuggle in beside him, pulling the duvet from beneath his strong leg to release more for me. He mumbles, and his eyes open slowly.