I laugh. “Everything, if I’m being honest.” Heat explodes on my neck and chest, and I flinch in the mirror opposite. “I mean… this all feels so new. I’m not sure what to expect.”
She replies with a kind smile. “Make yourself comfortable, and I’ll talk you through the next few months.”
One hour later, as I walk out into brilliant sunshine, Amy is waiting for me, and I can’t hide the beam on my face.
“Tell me it went well without telling me it went well,” she says with a giggle. “I only have to look at you to know you had a successful meeting.”
“Sure did,” I yell, and the people around us give us a sideways glance. “Come on, we’re celebrating.” Before she can speak, I drag her off down the street to the nearest cocktail bar.
“Well, Katie Clark.” Amy is in full flow after way too many porn-star martinis. “So, when a Hollywood A-lister is appearing in the film adaptations, I’m attending the premiere with you. We’re having aJamie Dornansandwich. No arguments. He’s in the middle, just to clarify.”
We spiral into ridiculous fantasies of buying private jets, red carpet events, and holiday villas in Marbella. According to my wonderful friend, not only will I be successful, but I’ll be the most popular author of all time.Step out of my way, E.L. James. Katie Clark has arrived.
Our night is full of fun and hilarity. We sink gratefully into the escapism of what’s to come. The unknown future ahead gives us both hope that maybe—just maybe—things can finally start to go right.
Chapter twenty-four
Lance
As the plane lands on the tarmac at Edinburgh Airport, Ibiza seems a distant memory. The sun, the sea, and the sand feel like a dream more than a reality.
Dog snores beside me, exhausted after two weeks of partying. In our thirties now, we can’t party like we used to, even though Dog thinks he can. We’ll need a week to recover from this trip.
My thoughts turn to Hannah waiting for me at home. These few weeks before returning to service, I plan to spend fully focused on my daughter. We have a full schedule of activities planned to make memories. Even though my new role is non-combat, there’s always a risk of not coming back. Every moment is precious with my girl.
Our drive back to Aviemore is long, neither of us happy to be returning, both still nursing broken hearts. Ibiza turned into a nice distraction, but it doesn’t change the fact that Katie andMillie broke us. We cared for them, but they hurt us, and we miss them.
“What’s the plan for dinner?” Dog asks.
“Well, darling.” I bat my eyelashes. “Once we get home, I’ll put my apron on and get the dinner in the oven.” My tone drips sarcasm. “How the fuck do I know? I was on holiday with you. Remember?” I point to my head with a finger and roll my eyes.
“I was only asking,” he huffs. He really is like a child sometimes.
I sigh, defeated. “We could pick up a fish supper,” I suggest. “Let me call Hannah to tell her we’re on our way and ask what she wants. I’m sure she’ll be over as soon as we get home.” As I expected, she answers my call, and the complaints about her mother pour out.
“Hannah,” I say firmly. “Calm down. You can tell me all this later. Just answer my questions. Are you staying tonight? And is a fish supper for dinner all right?”
“Dad,” she whines, “yes, I’m staying. I told you that. Another night in this hellhole, and I’ll die from boredom. I don’t want fish; I’ll have chicken.”
She hangs up without a goodbye, typical Hannah. It looks like I’m going to have two moaning children to deal with tonight.
***
The three of us sit on the sofa while polishing off our meals. Hannah has been quiet, much more subdued than usual. She’s sitting with her legs crossed, licking the chicken juice off her fingers. I’m trying not to stare, but can’t help glancing over. My little girl is growing up so fast. It makes me question my decision to re-enlist.
“What are you looking at, Dad?” she asks, her face serious, eyebrows drawn together.
“My little girl,” I say. “Well, my young lady. You’re so grown up, Hannah.” A sense of sadness washes over me. I’ve already missed so much of her life and will miss more.
She gives me a sad smile, then promptly bursts into tears.
“I’m going to miss you so much, Dad. Please don’t go. Don’t leave me here on my own.”
Standing in a rush to go to her, I remove the dinner plate from her hands and place it on the coffee table. Gathering her small body in my arms, I hold her tight to my chest as she sobs. Dog leaves the room to give us some privacy. Guilt fills me. I’m being completely selfish leaving her, but it’s too late now to change my mind.
“Darling, listen to me. This is the last time. After a few months abroad, I’ll finish my service here in Scotland. I love you so much. I’m so proud of the young woman you’re becoming.” She cries harder. I place my lips on her forehead. No words will take away the pain. I know that.
***