“I know, sweetheart. I wish things were different too. We will have our Christmas on Boxing Day. The two of us.”
Another tear escapes down her cheek; this one full, leaving a trail of pain.
“Dad… can I stay with you tonight? Please? Just tonight?”
It guts me, but I shake my head. I hate myself.
“Your mum’s expecting you. But if you ever feel unsafe, you call me. Day or night. I’ll be there.”
She nods, devastated but trying to be brave. My brave wee girl.
When we reach Ainsley’s drive, she lingers. Doesn’t move. Just holds the bauble like it might shatter if she breathes wrong.
I walk her to the door.
She clings to me, small arms tight around my ribs.
“I love you, sweetheart.”
“Love you too, Dad.”
Watching her walk inside feels wrong, like leaving her somewhere I shouldn’t.
And for the first time, a cold thought creeps in. Something is going to break. And when it does, it won’t be small.
But I’ll be damned if it will be my daughter.
Chapter fourteen
Lance
Snow lies thick on the ground this Christmas Day, and the temperature hovers below freezing. It’s bitter. Katie and I lie snuggled in bed, wrapped around each other, stealing the quiet while we can. Her head rests on my chest as we chat about our past Christmases.
This is my first Christmas without Hannah, when I haven’t been deployed. It feels ironic that, even though I’m home, we’re apart. Hoping Ainsley would reconsider Hannah coming to visit today was pointless. She didn’t. Christmas was her day; no negotiation possible.
Organizing my visits with my daughter has become difficult. I don’t know why Ainsley’s becoming more regimented about pick up and drop off times. It’s wearing thin.
“Major,” Katie purrs, “what did you ask Santa for?”
Squeezing her tight, I murmur, “A giant serving of you.” She smiles against my chest.
“Good answer. Well, I have a small present for you now, but you’ll get your main one tonight.” Her hungry eyes meet mine.
“Now that sounds interesting,” I say, nibbling her ear. Her breathing hitches; my cock hardens as my blood heats. “What’s my little present then?”
She reaches to her bedside table, pulling a rectangular parcel from the drawer. It’s neatly wrapped in red shiny paper and tied with a big silver bow. She passes it to me, beaming. As I untie the ribbon, her cheeks blush.
“Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea,” she mumbles.
I give her a sideways glance. Why is she doubting her choice?
When I peel back the paper, there is a plain black box with a red heart on the lid. Inside is a book I’ve heard of. The name is written in romantic script across the cover:Your Kama Sutra. Katie flushes as red as a tomato. She grabs a pillow and throws herself back on the bed, covering her face.
“Kill me now,” she shrieks. “This has turned out embarrassing rather than sexy.”
Prying her fingers from the pillow, I touch my lips to her forehead.
“Thank you. I love it. Studying theKama Sutrawith you will be amazing. I’m sure we will have plenty to practice.” I give her a cheeky wink, and she giggles nervously.