Chapter thirty-one
Ben
“I’ll speak to you later then. If you need anything…”
I turn to leave, walking toward the door slower than usual, hesitating every few steps, hoping she’ll say something. Anything. Just enough to tempt me to stop and turn back around.
At the door, I pause again and glance over my shoulder. Antonia is already typing on her laptop, pretending I’m not even there. I open the door and leave, closing it quietly behind me.
For a moment, I’m tempted to slam it. But that might be slightly pathetic for a man pushing fifty.
The rain is falling heavily outside. It’s grown worse as the day’s gone on. A bit like my mood. A bit like the way the whole day turned out.
Except for our near kiss in the office, when she invited me closer. Her asking me to kiss her made everything soar. I wanted her more than I’ve wanted anyone in a long time. I unlock mycar door and slide inside, closing it behind me. Rain drums hard against the roof, louder than rock music. I turn the key, and the engine purrs to life.
Everything feels cold.
My hands.
My feet.
Home is where I want to be.
I glance back toward the site office. The light is still on, but there’s no sign of her. She didn’t come after me.
That stings.
The accelerator sinks below my foot, and I pull away.
The road home is quiet. Most people are done for the day, back home having dinner with their families. Mine’s no different. The boys will be waiting for me after their day at school.
As I walk through my front door, the usual pair of chaos greets me. Ollie and Liam are arguing over something stupid on the television—probably a video game or some YouTube video they’re watching. The place is a mess, with school bags are strewn across the floor, and shoes kicked off in the corner.
“Right,” I say, dropping my keys on the counter. “Time to get some things in order. Boys, what are you up to?”
They both come trundling through the house like a pair of elephants crossing the African plains.
“Hey, Dad! What’s for dinner?” Ollie calls.
I laugh. The joys of being a single parent. Everything lands on you.
“Did either of you think to check the fridge?”
“Nah,” they say together. “We just waited for you.”
Then they run off again, laughing now. I stare at the kitchen for a moment before wandering over to the fridge and pulling out whatever’s there. Scrambled egg on toast. That’ll have to do them today. No complaints taken by the kitchen.
I crack the first egg, sliding it into the bowl. The shell shatters badly, pieces falling straight into the mixture. Ugh. I hate when that happens.
I fish out the shards, my fingers ending up dripping with egg. After washing my hands, I grab the whisk and start beating the eggs, adding milk as I go. Ollie reappears. “So,” he says, leaning against the counter, “how was the day after the big date?”
I snort. I can’t exactly launch into a monologue with my teenage son about why dating is such a pointless task—or how women change their minds so readily. What happened in the site office this evening was so different from earlier. Her need for me disappearing, and her defenses rising once more. It’s a whiplash I don’t want.
“Come on, Dad,” he presses. “What did she say? What did she do? What did you do?”
“Nothing,” I tell him. “It was all business today.”
“Hmm,” Liam says, appearing behind him. “Sounds like trouble in paradise, don’t you think, bro?”