“I should have spoken to you first,” I say. She blinks, surprise touching her eyes for a second.
“I authorized Julian to do what he thought was best. He is head of our PR department.”
Julian visibly wilts after being reminded that the PR stunt only took place as he had permission for it, albeit reluctantly. Control that had slipped to Julian amongst his theatrics slides directlyback to her. And once again, I’m awestruck by her ability to control a room full of men.
“Yes,” I agree. “But I should have confirmed with you directly, considering your concerns. It was instinct rather than thought.”
She nods, her eyes softening from CEO to human for a second. “Next time, we decide together.”
Julian looks uncomfortable. Antonia ignores him beyond a simple,well done. She dismisses the meeting, and people start to filter out. Julian hangs back, but leaves when she doesn’t look up from her paperwork. I’m making for the door when she speaks.
“Ben.” I turn back. “You didn’t have to defend me. I don’t need defending.”
“I know. It wasn’t defense, it was recalibration.”
“I’m perfectly capable of fighting my own battles.”
“I know,” I say again. Her strength isn’t something I doubt. It’s mesmerizing. “But not every fight needs to be a solo one.”
Her lips thin, her eyes narrowing to slits. “Careful, Ben,” she says sharply. “I don’t need a hero.”
“I didn’t say you did.”
Her nose lifts. I don’t look away. It’s her turn to feel watched.
“I said,” my voice drops just so both of us can hear, “you shouldn’t have to carry everything alone.”
For a split second, something flickers behind her eyes. Not anger. Understanding, perhaps. Then it disappears.
“Supporting doesn’t mean standing in front,” I suggest.
“Perhaps,” she mutters. Not so much to me but to herself.
Clara, who I’ve forgotten is even in the room, drops a pile of notes. I move to help pick them up. As I’m crouched low, Antonia leaves the room. I wish she’d seen that this wasn’t me standing in front of her. This was me standing by her side. There’s a difference.
I know what it’s like to walk alone. The only person to make the decisions. It’s exhausting. If I can remove some of the pressure from her, I will. She’s steel, but even steel can melt if pushed to a high enough heat.
“She’ll thaw,” Clara whispers as we rise to our feet. “She’s not used to someone…”
“Someone what?”
Silence echoes again. “Someone standing up for her,” Clara says. “She’s used to fighting in her own corner. Not letting someone else do it.”
She smiles then. Warm. Human. More girl next door than assistant to the CEO.
“She didn’t let me. I didn’t ask.”
“No, but trust me, she’d have stopped that interview if she really wanted to.” Clara exhales. “But for what it’s worth, I think you were right. She can’t fight every battle alone; she just needs to let someone in who can help.”
***
My drive home is quiet. The last few hours play over in my mind. I’d answered as a doctor, not a widower. Or at least tried to. But Charles wasn’t going to let me dodge the personal details entirely.
I gave him what I was comfortable with. No more.
It seemed to satisfy him until it came to Antonia. The ice-cold CEO that she’s been drawn to be. Deep down, I don’t think that could be further from the truth.
Guarded? Sure.