“Like?” Rodney asked.
“Schizophrenia,” she said bluntly. “The research isn’t there yet, but from what I could gather, Jeremy could potentially develop schizophrenia as he gets older. There will be symptoms to watch out for, symptoms that you might think are part of his ODD or of a potential autism diagnosis, but you need to be aware.”
“Has he been in a home before?” Don asked, mind racing.
She shook her head. “Not for any length of time. He became a ward of the state at the age of five. Mom was abusive. She overdosed. Dad was abusive, now in jail serving thirty years for armed robbery. Jeremy has been a ward of the state ever since.” She sighed. “He… didn’t do well, in the foster homes. Many people who foster are some of the kindest and most empathetic people you’ll ever meet. Some, though. Some are in it for the monthly checks from the state. Others have too many children already, and it makes it hard to have individual care.” She hesitated. Then, “He has hit people. His fosters. Other people in the house. He’s punched holes in walls, kicked in doors. He’s even taken a swing at me a few times.”
“And you think that will make us want to take him in?” Rodney asked.
“No,” she said. “I don’t. Because that would scare the living daylights out of most people. If you’re worried, good. But all of these things we’ve talked about, everything I’ve mentioned, it’s only part of the whole. Is it a big part? Yes. But I know him. I know him very well. He’s curious. He’s smart, even if his schoolwork doesn’t always reflect that. He can be funny, especially when he’s feeling comfortable. He likes to read, even though he has trouble with some of the words. He likes ice cream, especially chocolate. Cats. Blueberries. Climbing. Pretending sticks are swords. He’s a child, guys. A child who has been through more than most people see in a lifetime. A child who hasn’t really gotten the chance tobea child.” She looked at them both. “He needs a place to feel safe, a place he knows isn’t temporary. I think if he has that, he’ll blossom. But again, it’s going to take time, patience, and more hard work than you can even begin to imagine. I know you aren’t making this decision lightly, but it’s better to understand what you’re getting into. I don’t want to give you any false hopes.”
She left them, then, telling them she wanted to give them some time alone before she took them to meet Jeremy. She hadn’t told him they were coming, just in case they decided to back out after hearing from her.
They didn’t.
The conversation lasted maybe three minutes. Don said that it would be hard, not just on Jeremy, but on them too. Were they ready for something like that? They’d been wanting to have a kid for a while now, and this was the farthest they’d gotten.
Rodney said he didn’t know, but that he wouldn’t know unless they tried. Could they walk away from this now? Could they really stand up and walk out of the building and drive home and pretend nothing had happened?
“We don’t owe him anything,” Don said, trying to play devil’s advocate.
“Not yet,” Rodney said, and that was that.
When their friend came back, she knew from the moment she saw their faces. She smiled at them. “You want to meet him?”
She took them to a small room. Inside, there was a container filled to the brim with toys, some in better condition than others. Colorful plastic blocks, little toy cars, stuffed animals, a Speak & Spell machine, orange and yellow with blue buttons and a black screen. A See ’n Say toy with different types of farm animals on it:The cow says moooo.
And the boy, of course. The boy sitting in a little chair. He wore shorts and a shirt with a picture of Mickey Mouse on it. The collar was a little stretched, hanging down almost like a V-neck. Don and Rodney would learn the boy pulled on his clothes when getting worked up. In his hands, a picture book that Don recognized immediately:Where the Wild Things Are.
The boy looked up at them with suspicion, seemingly incapable of smiling. Don didn’t blame him for that. They were strangers and he didn’t yet know whether or not they were the type of people he’d known in his young life, the type of people who caused harm.
“These are friends of mine,” the social worker told Jeremy. “Told them all about you, and they wanted to meet you. This is Don, and that’s Rodney.”
The boy turned back to his book, flipping through the pages.
Rodney said, “Hi, Jeremy.”
Don said, “It’s nice to meet you, Jeremy.”
The boy didn’t speak.
“What are you reading?” the social worker asked.
“A book,” Jeremy muttered. “I like the pictures.”
“It’s one of my favorites too,” Don said.
It wasn’t magic, this moment. Jeremy didn’t suddenly look up at them with a smile and tell them he’d been waiting for them. He didn’t say much at all during that first meeting. When he didspeak, it was in short, staccato sentences. He never looked them in the eyes. When they got too close, he cringed away from them.
That night, sleep was a lost cause. They stayed in bed, but neither slept. Instead, they talked and talked. About what they wanted. About their futures. About why they had decided to have a kid in the first place. About what their lives would be like if they decided to take him in. How everything would change, and it could not be undone. By the next morning, they were exhausted, but resolute.
They went back to see Jeremy again, a few days later. He seemed surprised. He didn’t open up any more than he already had, but he also didn’t ignore them. The book—Where the Wild Things Are—seemed to be his favorite. He could read, he told them. He just had trouble with some of the words. He didn’t want to show them right then. Maybe someday, he told them.
The first night he’d stayed at their house—“A sleepover,” the social worker had called it—went as well as could be expected. Jeremy eyed the spare bedroom for a moment—fresh sheets on the bed, a green beanbag, some books and toys in plastic buckets—before dropping his backpack and rushing to the window, looking out at the large tree that grew outside. He gripped the windowsill, head turning side to side.
“What do you think?” Don asked, he and Rodney standing in the doorway.
Jeremy didn’t look at them. He said, “It’s all right. Can we have food? I’m hungry.”