“I thought I could just say it. You know, finally get it out after all this …” She took a ragged breath. “Lucas took an internship in Washington this summer.”
He had no idea what to say. But she clearly expectedsomething, almost seemed to need it. So he tried, “That’s a long time to be apart.”
“He’s been working as an aide to Nancy Pelosi.” Her eyes filled with tears. “He’s graduating early and taking a year off before law school so he can join her staff.”
“In Washington?”
“Washington, San Francisco …” She examined him through a glaze of tears. “You really don’t understand, do you?”
“Mira … I guess not.”
“It’sPelosi.”
The way she spoke that name, the anger and loathing emblazoned on her features, almost frightened him.
Colin had the sudden impression of seeing Regina standing there, just behind Mira’s chair. Roland’s wife observed them from a safe distance, showing Colin the same timeless concern as when he had asked what was going on. He knew whatever he said might inflame Mira’s tumult. Which was the last thing he wanted.
As if guided by Regina’s silent wisdom, he reached across the table and took Mira’s hand. “I’ve missed you.”
“Did you hear what I just said?”
“Of course I did.” He kept his voice as calm as possible. Almost flat. “So much of what is good in my life has come from meeting you. This incredibly beautiful girl who just plonked down beside me at the pool and started talking.”
She sniffed. “I don’t plonk. I never plonk.”
“Everything has been so natural with you ever since. Your family have just pulled me in. The investments, the way my life has been shaped because of them. And you. Especially you.”
She wiped her eyes. “They miss you almost more than me. Not quite. But close.”
“I miss them too. Mira, no, I don’t understand. I don’t need to understand.” He gave that a beat, then added, “Whatever you need, however I can help, I’m here.”
From that point, her words came out in tight snippets. Hesensed she used the public place as a way of maintaining at least some control. He heard how she and Lucas had spent over a year arguing over his political direction. How Lucas had become increasingly involved in the current election. How he wanted to make this his life’s work. How it reached the point where they simply could not discuss it any more. Not and stay together. Which they couldn’t. Not if Lucas insisted …
“Of course,” Colin said, when in truth he had no idea why these two people, so much in love and so right for each other, could not see their way past politics.
When she was done, he rose and walked her back to the boundary of her pristine campus. They hugged, and she thanked him, and he left more confused and uncertain than when he had arrived. As he drove away and rejoined the highway south, for the first time in what felt like months, he did not think of anything except his hurting friend.
Four nights later, two-thirty in the morning, Colin woke from a dream so terrifying he had no choice but call her. Soon as Mira answered, he started in. “Mira, I’m sorry. I know this isn’t … I had to call.”
“Colin?”
“I’ve had the worst dream. It wasn’t just a dream, it was …”
“Colin, wait, I can’t … All right. Tell me what’s wrong.”
“I dreamed about my mother.”
There was a long pause. Somewhere in the distance, a police siren wailed. A chopper drummed softly from far overhead. When Mira came back on the line, every vestige of sleep was gone. “Has this happened before?”
“Not ever.”
“Do you want to tell me about it?”
He didn’t. The memory still scalded. But he needed to. “She called to me. Soon as I heard her voice, I knew who she was. She said …” A shuddering breath. “She said I owedher. I carried a lifetime debt. There was something I needed to do for her. I had to do it.”
“Did she say what that was?”
“Live.” Saying the word again relaunched his heart rate.