Colin wondered if this was what it felt like to become an adult. Having the confidence to speak openly in front of someone who, just ten minutes ago, had been a stranger. “I want to learn how to swim. Outer Banks Academy doesn’t have a pool. I need …”
“You need help.” Sandrine turned to Arnold. “Ideas?”
Colin said, “There’s a public pool two miles from here.”
“Not on your life. I know that pool. The complex is not in a safe area. Which means the pool represents a risk we don’t need to take.” Arnold thought a moment, then said, “What about Landfall?”
“Now there’s a thought.” To Colin, “Your adviser has become seriously addicted to golf.”
“Everybody needs an outlet. Right, Colin?”
“I personally can’t see the point,” Sandrine continued. “Whacking a little white ball over and over and over—”
“Walking the emerald course, doing my absolute best at an impossible game, talking with friends, putting the rest of the world on hold. What’s not to love?”
Colin liked how they were involved in each other now. Being open in front of him in a way that was intensely private. And yet they included him. “But I want to swim.”
“Landfall is a country club. It’s located just over a mile from here. They have a great pool.” Arnold took a page from Sandrine’s file and made a note. “I’ll have a word and see what we can arrange.”
CHAPTER6
The next day was Saturday. At nine that morning Arnold drove him to the club. Faculty were not generally allowed to visit with students off campus. Colin had learned that his first year in Sojourn House. Though Arnold was a counselor and taught no classes, the rules of fraternization were still very strict.
Colin had been off campus a few times each semester, more often in the slower summer season. Each month there would be a sheet listing the scheduled trips for Sojourn House residents. A couple of days in advance, Mrs. Fitzgerald would make an announcement. She tried to make it sound like a treat. But the strictly regimented way she arranged things, starting with the announcement itself, made most trips feel more like a chore to Colin. A duty. He could tell that most of the other students felt the same way.
Once they traveled by ferry to the Bald Head Island nature preserve, the southernmost bastion of the Outer Banks. At least once a semester they attended films at the localCineplex. But Mrs. Fitzgerald chose the films and then deflated the enjoyment afterward with question times. They visited museums. They always stopped somewhere for lunch, the other patrons staring at them like they were on display. He liked it better when Celeste arranged to pick him up, though it usually meant spending time in her children’s company. Then last year the older girl went off to college, but her son’s sullen attitude never changed. Troublesome was the word Celeste most often used when she spoke about him. Colin could see she was worried, but had no idea what he could do to make things better. They remained close through all those times, and it was Celeste who had given him the idea about swimming.
The week before Colin was scheduled to meet with Arnold, he told Celeste, “I hate how I look.”
“Not liking your appearance is part of growing up. This is when you start learning to see yourself as an individual, which means examining every wart and wayward hair through a microscope.”
“This is different.”
“Oh, is that so. Tell me how I am supposed to believe that because you’re a genius and everybody is oohing and aahing over you, you’re not going to think and feel like a teenager every now and then.”
There was a phone in the little hallway off the kitchen that the students were allowed to use. Cell phones were off limits, as were personal computers. Mrs. Fitzgerald did not allow any device that she could not personally monitor. The cook, Camila, was supposed to observe and report on every phone conversation. But apparently few of the Sojourn House students had anyone they wanted to talk to. And none of them had funds to buy their own equipment. Colin had seen the hall phone being used only a few times. Camila seemed to like him, which he found very strange, since the only timethey spoke was when he was assigned kitchen chores. But whenever he phoned Celeste, the cook seemed to go out of her way to be elsewhere.
“That’s not what I mean,” Colin said. “I’m fat.”
Celeste gave that a moment. “I will admit that you’re a tad overweight. It comes with finally getting fed like a growing boy should.”
“I’m fat and I hate how I look. Not just that. All the other people in the house, they’re strange looking.”
“Those day students, they’re still calling you that name? Superfreak?”
“Yes, but that’s not … I want to do something about how I look. I can’t buy clothes. I don’t have money. The stuff Mrs. Fitzgerald gives me to wear, it’s like a uniform. That’s what the others call it. The superfreaks in their Walmart super gear.”
“I could wring their necks.”
“I can’t do anything about how I dress. But maybe I can do something about being a fatty. I want to try.”
“Don’t call yourself names.” But she had taken on a thoughtful air. “I don’t recall Outer Banks Academy having a gym.”
“They have one. It’s small, but I guess it’s okay. I went there. They made fun of me.”
Celeste was silent, then suggested, “What about swimming?”
“I don’t know how.” Even so, the idea sparked something in him. Photos he had seen rose behind his eyes. “Outer Banks Academy doesn’t have a pool.”